Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Don't cry for me, typical mom

My son turned three yesterday. Someone asked me if I was as sad as she was. Her typical daughter will be three this week too.


No, not at all.

She looked at me like I have three heads. "But they are growing up so fast."

Then she had a moment of recognition. It showed on her face.

She realized that my three year old and her three year old are worlds apart, we are worlds apart.

The sad concern for me showed in a flash across her face. A tear in her eye.

* * *

I'm not sad my son is three. Yes, it does seem like his baby years are drifting away, but call me crazy I'm not sadden by it.  

I see everything he can do as an achievement.  Every step, every jump and scribble of a crayon are HUGE. I celebrate them. 

My perspective allows me to see the things he does as he moves towards independence as good, beneficial and necessary. I don't grieve the loss of my "baby".

He worked hard to walk. And now he is working hard to talk. His progress is barely measurable compared to typical kids, but I can hear it. And it makes me happy.

I want my son to grow up. I don't want him to be baby-like forever.

I want him to do all the things that typical kids do, even if it means someday he will be a brooding teenager. I will continue to work to make that happen.

When I look back over the past three years I am proud. He made it three, alive. {Now THAT is worthy of shedding a few tears!}

Perhaps I should be sad for her or any parent who missed all the inchstones, tiny moments of achievement, that I pray and wait for.

Maybe that tear was for her as she realized all the moments that I hang on to and commemorate she probably missed. 


Janis Marie is a full-time mom, freelance writer and blogger. Highly regarded and respected for her ‘tell it like it is’ approach; she created and maintains Sneak Peek at Me to chronicle her son’s life and complex medical journey. 

Through her blog and affiliations, Janis works year-round to promote awareness and acceptance for those living with a rare disease diagnosis. She also writes at 5 Minutes for Special Needs, She Posts, Complex Child and Kidz.


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