Friday, May 25, 2012

What we never thought we'd say.


Photo taken by Quinnlin Roberts, age 4
I wrote a little post on Support for Special Needs.com about what we say. Literally What We Say now that we're parents to kids with special needs.

You know what I'm talking about, the stuff we say that when it comes out of our mouths we can't believe it just did but yet it feels to natural and "normal."

I joke about how typical parents (haha) don't understand this language we've developed.

Like when we say, "Why isn't he walking? I'm thrilled he's sitting."


"If you don't bite me when I give you this shot, you can have a treat out of the treat box!"


"It was a toss up hon, life-saving meds or a vacation?"


"I've got him! I've got him! Just keep his feet from kicking my shins!"


"If you just eat this salad, you can have the Poptart."


"Now how long have we been married? Wait. We just skipped a whole year? We just missed it? I mean 16 wasn't so great we had to have it twice."


A link to the original post and some hilarious (to me) quotes from other parents, go here.  Leave your own if you are so inclined to do so.




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Julia is co-founder of Support for Special Needs.com, family blogs at KidneysandEyes.com and writes for Aiming Low. She owns a 15-year-old marketing & social media firm and is an avid kid lover. Gage (13) and Quinnlin (10) are 5 and 2 1/2  years post kidney transplant (2 friends donated). They still receive a lot of services from our school & health care communities. 

Monday, May 21, 2012

A Little Distance Would Be Swell

Of all the challenges that come with raising a child with social, emotional, and behavioral problems, the one that is most challenging for me is the...how to say it? The relentless need of my child.

I want to be sympathetic and understanding, but I chafe against his constant presence, his need to be near me, his persistent fear that we might be separated by something as large as death or as small as a closed door.

It's the same reason that my children's toddler years were very difficult for me: I am a person who likes her space, physical and emotional. My son Carter is nine, almost 10, and living with him can feel like a constant invasion.

Here's the dirty secret under all this: it makes me angry. Sometimes, I am so unbearably mad that I end up yelling at him and then I am nearly swallowed up by my shame.

I know that he doesn't want to do the things he does. I know that he tries. I understand that all his infuriating behaviors are symptoms, not decisions he's making to drive me nuts.

Funny how thoughts don't necessarily control feelings, though I wish they did.

I'm looking for a message in here, or at least a point, but I can't find one. I'm tired. I'm frustrated. I feel too crowded to think. Sometimes, I'm not philosophical at all about my son. Sometimes, being his mom is just hard.


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Adrienne Jones lives in Albuquerque, NM. She writes the memoir blog No Points for Style

Sunday, May 20, 2012

A Sense of Community


Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: “What!  You too?  I thought I was the only one.” ~ C.S. Lewis

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Today is a momentous day.  An exciting day.  An eventful day, to say the least.  It is a day in which we will crack out the iPad and the headphones and the weighted toys and the compression garments because it is that important that all of us – my boy included – be present for it all. 

It is the day of our local Walk Now for Autism Speaks and this is the first year in which our family will participate.

This time last year, Jack had been diagnosed with autism nearly two months prior but our feelings were still so raw from the impact of it all that we simply could not bring ourselves to do it.  This was not a place in which we felt comfortable.

This year, however, we are there and we are going to rock that walk.

When I think about gatherings such as the walk, one word comes to mind – community.  Look around you at your local walk, or support group meeting.  No one sits alone.  We all stand united for our children.  Our community, indeed the special needs community as a whole, has an unparalleled ability to rally around one another to provide hope, support, and understanding.

Think about it.  We all have our friends outside of the special needs community, but who else just gets it?  It seems like you only need to be in the room with another special needs mama for a few minutes before you can commiserate with her on your shared triumphs, failures, frustrations, and strategies. 

Our kids all have different combinations of diagnoses, abilities, and deficits, but we all find camaraderie among others who have been there.  We all have a fierce love for our children and we all are prepared to fight for every minute of every day to help our kids.  We’re all eager to share what resources we have for the good of everyone.  It’s not just about my kid; it’s about your kid, too.

Yes, we all need those friends outside of the special needs community who force us, sometimes against our will, to break away from the constant marathon of raising our children and go out to do something as frivolous as drink a whole bottle of cheap wine and watch one of the Twilight movies.  However, it is those times when I get out with my fellow special needs mamas, when we splurge on a nice dinner and drinks and we talk endlessly about our children, that I truly feel at ease.  These are my people.  They understand me!  They’ve been there!  They know what this feels like!

While we would never wish the struggles of our child upon anyone else, it is a relief and comfort to have other mamas out there who have walked a mile in our shoes.  Having a child with special needs may put barriers and obstacles before us, but it breaks down the barriers we place between each other. 

It's this wonderful community in which we find ourselves seeking shelter during our best and worst moments.

I challenge each of you today to pay it both forward and back.  Reach out to one of the angels in your life who stands by you and give them your thanks.  Let them know just how much you appreciate their support.  Then, turn your attention outward and welcome another mama into the fold.  Extend an empathetic ear and be there for someone else.  Let us continue to strengthen this community from the inside out.

As I step out on to that green this morning, I’ll find the mom whom I go have dinner with and give her a hug.  I’ll chat with the mom from my support group.  I’ll say hi and speak with a therapist or two.  Or a teacher.  Or another parent whom I’ve met in passing.  I will appreciate the impact that each of these individuals has on my day-to-day existence and that of my baby boy.  I’ll greet and walk along side these many souls who walk this walk with me, not just today but everyday.

I’ll step on to that green and feel a warm glow, because this is a place in which I feel comfortable. 

Among this community, I find my home.



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Jeanie is a former engineer turned stay-at-home wife and mom to an amazing 3-year old little boy on the autism spectrum.  After her only child was diagnosed at 24-months with autism and an alphabet soup of special needs, she began to write about life parenting a very young child with special needs with honesty, optimism, and as always, a touch of humor.

When not posting here, you can find Jeanie at her regular blog, Reinventing Mommy.  To follow more of her ramblings, like her on Facebook!

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Trying To Have An Open Mind

As parents, we often pride ourselves that we know our children better than almost everyone.  We are told this by their teachers and we really know it to be true.  But every once in a while, something happens that makes you think twice.  There are times where others have a different opinion about things than the parents.  The hard part is trying to figure out who is right.

For Music Man, things have always been easy on this score.  What he does at home, he does at school and vice versa.  Yes, there may be some things that are slightly different, but we see the same things and are almost always on the same page.  For Ballerina, that doesn't seem to be the case.

For the second time now, her teachers are making a recommendation that I'm not sure I agree with.  The first time was when we were in our local Early Intervention Program.  They suggested that she needed an ABA program and suggested arranging for some 1-on-1 work through a local organization.  They commented that she was EXTREMELY rigid and the rigidity of the ABA program would suit her well.  My husband and I couldn't understand how this could work, but we decided to try it anyway.  And, let me tell you, did it EVER work!!!!  She is probably one of the many poster-kids for the success of ABA.  And this taught us to listen to what her teachers have to say, even when it doesn't mirror our opinions.

We are now faced with something similar.  Ballerina's kindergarten placement.  She is currently in the most intensive program offered by our school system (an ABA program with a 1-to-1 student teacher ratio).  She started here on her 3rd birthday (so over 2 years) and she will be entering kindergarten with the new school year. 

There are several different placement options for her.  My thought is that she would be placed in a special education classroom and would spend the next year learning to participate in a general education classroom.  She would start off going there for 30 minutes a day and by the end of the year, it would be for the full day.  But the school representatives recommend that she be placed in a typical classroom from the first day of kindergarten.

Don't get me wrong.  This placement recommendation has me WHOOPING for joy on this inside.  It really is a dream come true.  From Day 1 when we started working with the school programs, I was hoping both of the twins would be ready for a typical classroom for kindergarten.  But now that it is potentially becoming a reality, I'm scared.  Terrified.  Panicked.  I don't know if this is the right thing to do.

First of all, we know from experience that she experiences regressions during the summer.  Where it takes a typical student 2-3 weeks to return to where they were the previous school year, it takes her 7-8.  This is why she is awarded the recommendation to attend ESY (Extended School Year) during her annual meeting in October (normally, they don't begin awarding these recommendations until February).  Second, she will be going from a 1-on-1 environment to being 1 of (upwards of) 18 students with a general education teacher who does not necessarily have the added training of working with an Autistic child.  And, finally, I worry because she is my baby and I'm the Mommy.

I went to visit her at her school recently and was amazed at what I saw.  In order to assess whether this recommendation reflects my daughter's best interest, she has been participating in a typical kindergarten classroom for the last couple of months.  She goes there for an hour every morning (and they are in the process of increasing it to last the entire morning).  When I visited, she knew I was there and she looked just like everyone else.  She sat in her square.  She did what was asked of her.  She listened to instructions.  She has even made a FRIEND!!!!!!

So, now I'm torn.  I don't want to hold her back.  I don't want a diagnosis to hold her back.  But I don't want to push things too far too fast.  Every fiber of my being says that she should start the school year in a more protective environment and then be given the added freedom as she makes the adjustment.  But after what I saw, I have to concede the possibility that the school representatives may again be right about what we should do for her.  Her placement meeting is at the end of the month and we will make the best possible decision at that time.  I'm just so grateful that we have been given such a supportive team who are willing to work with her and with us to maximize her potential!




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Ilene is a SAHM living in the Washington, DC suburbs.  She lives with her husband, puppy and 3 wonderful children.  Big Brother is 7, and the twins, Ballerina and Music Man are 5.  She learned that both Ballerina and Music Man were "On The Spectrum" when they were 26 months old.  They were officially diagnosed 5 months later with "Severe Autism".  Ballerina has since been diagnosed with ADHD and POTS in addition to Autism.


They have both made such amazing progress in the last 3 years.  Ilene blogs regularly to chronicle the family's journey at My Family's Experience With Autism writing whatever feels right at the time.  She calls it her "publicly available online journal" and she invites all to read and share.

Friday, May 18, 2012

Different perspective

Well, I have been thinking...

What do you see on this two pictures?




Cars, right? Nice cars and expensive ones too. Well, at least most of my friends do and about a decade ago I would agree with them.

But in last 6 years I don't see cars anymore. I don't even like to talk about them anymore, although I worked for car industry for more than a decade.

All I can see when I see them everywhere - on pictures like this, or on the roads, or... even when my friends talk about them - and not necessary this three types or marks... any type of car... What I see or picture in my mind is... how many years of therapy for my son with Autism they are worth of:

* 6 years
* 8 years
* 12 years
* 14 years
* 18 years
* etc...

And this is one of the things that changed in me, when our son was diagnosed with Autism. What different perspective you have now, that changed so much in your life?


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Petra is a Writer, Mum of Two, Wife to One... Warrior for a better Future for her child with Autism and for the one without. 
She blogs at http://foraoisdarach.blogspot.com

Three-Year Re-Eval


Those of you that know the joys of having a child on an IEP, know the joys of the 3-year re-eval. It’s loads of fun, which generally includes the extra bonus of an IQ test. When I am in charge of the world, the very first thing on my agenda is the abolishment of IQ tests, followed by the SATs, which, if you didn’t already know, drive everything, and are nothing but a huge RACKET. But, I digress.

The 3-year re-eval., a chance to do just that – re-evaluate. I am already in a snit and our next one won’t start until January 2013. They are major triggers for any PTSD that still hangs around.

What I’m working on doing is changing my fear and trepidation about all that lies ahead: the endless testing, the pointless meetings, the same end result, and trying to think of it as a good thing. Re-evaluation is important for everyone. We should all take stock of our lives (not our IQs, however), every three years. What’s working? What isn’t? What are our goals? What goals have we met? Exceeded? Blown to kingdom come? What matters to us now? Where are we going? Why? Why not?

As our oldest gets ready to go off to college in August, and six months later I’ll turn 50, it’s more than time for a re-eval. I might even go so far as to write up a formal Individual Life Plan (ILP), complete with goals, and have everyone I know and love sign it, just to hold me to it:

Goal #1: Have more fun (beyond the fun of playing solitaire on the iPad)

Goal #2: Blow more stuff off

Goal #3: No guilt

Goal #4: No looking back

Goal #5: Don’t fear the future

It’s a start.







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Carrie is a parent and advocate of a child with special needs and even more special gifts. She blogs at http://carrielink.blogspot.com/ where this is pretty much her favorite topic. 


Thursday, May 17, 2012

Questions

I've basically had absolutely no time to sit down and focus on what I want to write this week, (and please forgive me if the following is a bunch of rambling nonsense since I just completed a 13 hour shift at work).  All of my energy and time has been spent this week trying to come up with a way to convince a total stranger, who's never even seen my son, that he is worth continuing his in-home behavior therapy program financed through the county.

My son is 6 and autistic, and like everywhere else these days the budgets for these services are stretched to the absolute limit. I've written letters, obtained behavioral data, collected recommendations from past and present teachers, as well as his pediatrician. I've taken photos of the destruction he has caused in our home. I've described his self-harming behaviors in detail.

His case-worker is coming to my home tomorrow at 3pm to gather all of my efforts and deliver them to this unknown individual who will basically decide the course of my son's future.

Will I convince them of what my son is worth? What he's capable of? Can I make them see all of the potential in him that I see? Is there anything else I could have said or done to get their approval?

And- (although this probably sounds selfish), how will it effect me if he is denied his services? Will I have the strength to keep fighting with these people who don't even know my son? Have never even met him?

All of these questions have been weighing on my mind for the past several weeks....

I guess we'll see....





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JenM. is a Registered Pediatric Nurse, with 3 boys- ages 8, 6, 20 months. Her middle son was diagnosed with autism at 2 1/2.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Discovery




The science museum is particularly dense on Tuesday during spring break. There are families, camp groups and others filling their extra time with this hands-on afternoon. We are used to going during the week when it’s quieter. Addie’s propensity to shimmy right up to the front of each exhibit can be indulged without doling apologies to her left and right during these less peopled visits.

Not today. Her speed and motivation - for this is among her favorite places on earth – will require quick reaction times from her companions, my 12 year old Cate and me. After brief parking lot discussion, we choose not to bring Addie’s push chair (a large medical stroller)in. Cate convincingly opined that we must start encouraging her understanding of the rules about running away; that we need to start giving Addie credit for good choices, rather than taking the option to bolt completely away from her by buckling her in. I cannot argue. Though it does mean that I shall be slinging Addie’s 5 pound communication device over my shoulder, along with her other supplies and my purse, hoping this still allows the agility needed in crowded places with my fearless, fast, nonverbal, intellectually original 8year old scientist. Wouldn't be the first risk taken. Won't be the last.

Addie shows great patience waiting in line to renew our membership and get our admission wristbands. Cate cannot help but laud her sister for this. As soon as I secure Addie’s wristband however, she is off and shuffle-running. Cate and I jokingly wonder if Addie may have some belief that in this high tech playground of experimentation, that she may suppose there is a GPS chip in her wristband that will allow us to track and reunite with her… when it is convenient.   For her.

Snickering at this thought, Cate and begin our day of chase. Addie wears a bright orange jacket and under that, a fuchsia tunic over bright leggings. She glows by design. We follow her fast, small body as she briefly slows her steps near the giant watery great lakes replica. She peeks through the glass into Lake Erie and then reaches over the edge of Superior to splash around in it. She will be soaked from neck to waist shortly. Water features big in many of the exhibits here. Water (and all creatures that live in it) is her obsession. But soon the great hall darkens as shades descend and lights dim. She knows what’s coming and she doesn’t care for it much. The simulated thunderstorm is exciting to her at the beginning when it’s just rain bouncing off the lakes’ surfaces. But when the thunder begins, she must make a choice. We can see her thinking - I could stand here and put my hands over my ears until it is finished, or I can move on. Her hands rise slightly, drop, and then she takes off again, down the stairs behind the exhibit.

Cate and I dodge and weave with less expertise than our orange-coated leader, but we make our way. Urgency is slightly diminished by the awareness and anticipation of an area not far from the bottom of the stairs that will slow our small sprite down again. This basement floor holds huge aquariums with all manner of fish and sea creatures. There are also touch tanks where people can reach into the water to interact with starfish, sea urchins, stingrays and sturgeon. But she must find her way through to get to this and her other esteemed spot. Some of the terrain she must cover will give her pause. There are tanks below foot as you make your way over a class tiled walkway. Fish, rocks and coral are visible through this transparent floor. This higher demand of perception throws Addie off a bit and she requires a hand in hers to feel grounded enough to cross. She will stop at the first clear tile, watching, with her hand out, waiting for one of us to take it.

Today, Cate gets to her first. Once she has crossed safely, she shakes her sister’s hand off and swiftly motors past the jellyfish, around the corner and through the overhead aquarium tunnel. The puffer fish used to slow her down, along with the swooshing current overhead, but it doesn’t merit a glance today. She speeds through. We catch up to her just as she bends her knees and collapses into that position most hated by physical and occupational therapists – the dreaded W sit. She is just a few inches from a wall of thick glass housing the biggest fish in the museum. Already a number of them have crossed in front of her. She bends forward, feet out to the sides, giggling as each one glides by. She glances up when we arrive and knows to shimmy back a few inches. I put her communication device down to the right of her while Cate has a seat on the other side. Addie navigates the pages on her device and states the uber-obvious, “I want to see the fish!” Cate laughs. Yeah. Gotcha, pal.

Cate knows we get to rest a bit, so after chatting with her sister a while, she gets up to go check out some other exhibits near us. I stand back, relieved to have the heavy device off my shoulder. If she wants to talk, I’ll see her navigating the pages and get closer to hear. Within a minute or two, a small girl, stylish beret perched on her head, makes a beeline right for Addie and sits down in front of her communication device. She actually turns it away from Addie and towards herself. I hear a man’s voice near me say “Mikayla, no. That’s not for you.” She ignores him and instead says hi to Addie. I let it go for a minute – neither girl looks to me for any sort of assistance, so I just watch.

Mikayla asks Addie her name. Addie ignores her. The other girl turns her attention back to the communication device. She asks Addie what it is. I have to take a step closer. “It’s a talker. Instead of talking with her mouth like you and me, she uses sign language and that computer to talk.”

“Why?”

“Well, things work a little differently for her and her voice doesn’t work for her the same way as ours does.”

“She can’t talk?”

“Not with her mouth, but she can with her hands and with her computer.” Mikayla looks at Addie again and then looks up at me.

“Wow, she’s double lucky!”

She asks Addie some more questions, some of which Addie answers in sign language while I translate. She chooses not to use her communication device. Mikayla asks me some further questions about the device and about school. Through follow up inquiries, she confirms my guess – she is 5 and will be in kindergarten next year. Mikayla’s dad just listens. His daughter has not a moment’s aversion to Addie’s differences, nor does she seem to view them as the least bit of a disadvantage. I do my best to match her sincere, curious, friendly tone at times when I must interject to keep the conversation going.  Addie is mostly engaged with the fish, but occasionally she turns her attention to this new friend. Addie teaches Mikayla a few signs, starting with the sign for hat, as she admires the girl’s beret. Abruptly, Addie determines it’s time to reach in to touch the stingrays a few feet behind us, so we disengage with our young conversationalist.

We end up meeting her again at many of the exhibits throughout the other floors. Her father’s quiet observation and lack of inclination to stop his daughter’s honest quest for understanding impresses me. He trusts his daughter’s intention enough not to measure it as less important than some floating external notion of manners. Mikayla’s genuine, natural regard for Addie as a fellow kid imbues a hopeful lifting of my face for the remainder of our happily frantic race from feature to feature at the museum.

We see our friend one last time just around the corner from one of Addie’s favorites upstairs: a human-sized hamster wheel you run in to try and create enough energy to light a row of bulbs overhead. Cate informs Mikayla this is where Addie wants to go next just as Addie dashes past her toward it. The astute kindergartener-to-be glances after her and asks me, “Oh! Can she run?”

“Yep, see her? She’s running now. And pretty fast!” Skipping after my girls, Mikayla hollers ahead.

“Addie, you are triple lucky just like me!”

Farmer John Cheese and Other Joy

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

When To Pull The Plug

This week we have Katie's 3 year re-eval meeting. Technically, her next comprehensive eval shouldn't be until January when she is nine, but we scrapped and redid her whole IEP two Octobers ago. The school didn't love the idea of doing testing right out the gate come September, so we all agreed to get it done now.

Next year is third grade. A game changer, of sorts. State testing begins, and a lot more is expected academically. Frankly, I am not sure how we have made it through second grade. The year started out rough, got a bit better, then nose-dived these past couple months. We are also starting to see more issues with reading and writing (although, thankfully, math remains a strong suit).

Katie has been mainstreamed since Kindergarten. Mainstreaming is the ideal, these days, although we have asked repeatedly for at least half days in the PDD class. That, we were told, is the "last resort". For their part, the school has attempted to pile on the supports, especially this year, but it still isn't enough. I know schools love to boast high mainstreaming numbers, and I know some parents love to say their kid is mainstreamed, but we are not those parents.

My child is full of anxiety all the time. Her behaviors are worse at school, and carry over to home. Sometimes I feel like we are living in a war zone. Things have gotten so bad, we were offered home ABA services. For the school to offer anything is quite telling, in my opinion.

Katie just can't handle a class with 28 (yes, TWENTY-EIGHT) kids, all talking and making noise. She isn't as engaged as she should be. She has no friends, and soon the other kids will grow impatient with her differences. She needs more direct help than they can provide. Mainstreaming might sound good, but not when a child doesn't have the basic skills to make it work.

So, here we are again, faced with the decision of fighting to pull K from the mainstream, or keeping her in, hoping for the best. Things aren't going to get easier from here, and it's definitely not going to get easier to teach her how to cope the older she gets. There is part of me that thinks I am somehow betraying my daughter by not wanting her in the general ed class; but, there is another part of me that thinks we are failing her by trying to keep her mainstreamed just to say she's mainstreamed.

It might just be time to pull that plug.







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Jen is the mom of two great kids, Katie, who is 8, and has Autism, and Ben, who is 5, and has boy. She blogs at Still Looking Up, and you can follow her on Twitter @JenTroester

Foot races and acceptance

My heart sank.

Danny insisted that I let him play outside, but that was the last thing I felt like doing at the moment.  We were visiting my mom, and her next door neighbors were having a party.  There was a gaggle of kids in the front yard playing with sidewalk chalk and laughing, and I worried that they would exclude Danny.  Or worse, that they would reject him.

I just didn't want to face this group of kids.  I didn't want to watch them as they sized up Danny.  I couldn't stomach watching them laugh at him or roll their eyes at him.  More than anything, I wanted to convince Danny and Charlotte to go back in the house.  I just wasn't up for the possible hurt feelings.

Danny was chomping at the bit  to get outside and play, though, and he couldn't figure out why I was stopping him.  Of course, I couldn't tell him that my fear was he'd be rejected by these kids.  Danny loves other kids, but often has difficulty interacting with them.  He doesn't understand many of the playground's inherent social rules, and because of that, kids sometimes think he's weird.  He's been called all kinds of names, even the dreaded R-word.

Danny has friends, but they are mostly kids who have known him for a while--friends of the family.  His other friends are from LEGO Club, which is made up of kids who have a lot of the same social struggles as Danny.  Once others get to know him, they often discover how wonderfully funny and exuberant Danny is, but making new friends is where it's tough.  It takes people a while to understand him--his language isn't always decipherable, mostly because he almost always launches into a conversation with no background information for people.  He'll regale kids with the most arcane tidbits about LEGO Hero Factory, while his audience just stares, confused.

So, I braced myself, preparing for the worst.

Danny rode his bike up to the group of kids and announced his name and standing as a LEGO champ without ever making eye contact with anyone.  Then, he rode off.

The kids laughed, and I flinched.  Here we go, I thought.

As a tiny little girl approached me, I wondered how I could explain Danny to these kids in a way that would educate them and not sound like I was apologizing for my son.

But, Samara didn't require an explanation.  She stopped in front of me, looked me in the eyes, smiled, and said, "Excuse me, can you tell your son that if he wants to play with us, he can?"

The rest of the evening, Danny joined these energetic, but polite kids, running races up and down the block. They laughed and goofed around.  Danny made some of his trademark off-the-wall comments and the kids giggled.

But they were not laughing at him.  They were not avoiding him.  They accepted my son into their little group of cousins and siblings with no question at all.  This group was made up of at least three different ethnicities and many different ages, and with the addition of  Danny, it was even  more diverse than before.

No one batted an eye at Danny's idiosyncrasies.  No one worried that Danny was different.  They just played together, laughing, running, and making silly jokes.

These sweet kids taught me an important lesson: not all kids are cruel. Obviously, there will be those who do not accept Danny, but tonight I learned that there are some incredible people out there, people who are welcoming, inviting and accepting of all different kinds of people.

And those are the types of friends that Danny deserves.





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Patty is a stay-at-home mom to three wonderful kids, all of whom have Sensory Processing Disorder.  Her oldest son is also on the autism spectrum.  She is a freelance reporter for her local newspaper and started a LEGO Social Club for kids on the spectrum last year.  She blogs at www.pancakesgoneawry.blogspot.com