christmas dirge

blank page and

a heart full of pain

hopeful eludes me today

too many sleepless nights leave me edgy

 

hair-trigger temper and little patience

combined with long winter break

a recipe for meltdowns of epic proportions

mine, mostly

his, occasionally

 

no time to plan

can't leave his side

nighttime hours exist

only in the pockets between wakings

soothing pains and fears in darkness

daytime stretches endlessly

when I am all to him

for good or ill

 

family gatherings hold no joy

thinly veiled tolerance

of my boy who speaks

with an electronic box

and limited understanding

one says he's distracting

disturbing, too

so glad to see you

once a year

 

laughter from other rooms

wraps itself around me

as I sit with him

cradling his pain and confusion

sheltering him from the assault

of too many transitions

strange foods, smells and sounds

 

traditions long cherished

disappear in wisps

vanishing like the fog

of one's cold breath

too cold, too wet

too noisy

no understanding

too busy and unstructured

to be enjoyed

 

perhaps we'll try again

next year

 

*******************************

Niksmom isn't always so gloomy or dispirited when she writes at Maternal Instincts.  She chalks it up to the stress of the holidays and her son's entirely-too-lengthy winter break— along with the snow which has kept them from their planned activities. 

She wishes all our readers and authors a very Happy New Year.  May we all find peace in its myriad forms.