Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Christmas Break

All of my sons are now on Christmas break and must admit, I view the holiday down time differently than I have in the past.  Usually, I would be worried that the boys had stopped thinking about their studies, that their brains were being morphed by their video games and other mindless activities.  I thought they were eating too much crap and generally, being overly slothful.

But this year, I look on with completely different eyes.  Last year, all of us were in shock that Jeff died so suddenly.  Getting through the holidays was a huge blur.  The amount of nervous energy all of us had kept us on the hop from activity to activity without rest or real cognizance.  The only prevailing thought was how we were going to survive and even that was confused and upsetting.

So after returning from a week-long business trip, I went to the grocery store and bought all manner of snacks, sweets and meats.  The knowledge that all three boys dutifully went to school, got decent if not superior grades, that they've grown as individuals and aren't sullen or introverted is such a major accomplishment, we all deserved a treat; a warm house, relaxation and time to reflect.

It's true, there's a lot of video game playing going on in my house.  But it's done out of contentment not out of escape (entirely).  Brains have turned to mush, but they've been working so hard all year, if they didn't have some downtime, there would literally be steam coming out of our ears.

I feel thankful and lucky to have such wonderful family and friends who helped us through this time.  For being able to share our lives with you, the other Hopeful Parents.  I still live in the same big, old house I did, which is no small feat for a widow.  The furnace still runs in the winter.  There are plenty of presents being exchanged and the noose of grief has loosened to the point where we can breathe again.

My best wishes to all of you for a fabulous Christmas and I've got high hopes we can enter 2011 with a spirit of excitement and revelry for something, even the smallest thing.


  1. Thank you for sharing a small bit of your life this past year -- for being so open and generous and honest. I wish the best for you and your boys --

  2. Wishing you peace this holiday season.