A longing for another pregnancy. The urge to hold a new baby and breathe in that soft sweet smell. Reminiscing over old photos and dreaming of days gone by....
It's moments like these that cause me to go a little bit crazy mad. I become irrational and make spontaneous decisions. I think with my heart and not my head. I decide... damn it, why not!!
This time I pulled a real doozy.
Thanks to a chance meeting with a friend and a couple of phone calls; in the space of a few hours I bought a dog! Me, the chick who has never ever had any desire to own a dog. Me, the mum who has a child with autism, which surely is enough to keep me busy!
Two things crossed my mind. Firstly, it was coming up to my son's 13th birthday and a dog would make a great present. A bit silly really, considering that Nick doesn't understand relationships with people so why on earth would a dog make a difference to my child! Secondly, my husband was out of town for the night, so I figured that he wouldn't be around for the first night of a howling dog and it would give him (the hub's) time to come to terms with the fact that we have an extra member in our family!
What I didn't expect, was to have my heart stolen by this little scrap of fur, sharp teeth and a smelly bum! You know... when you have a kid with autism (well, one like mine!) you get used to the lack of affection, or should I say... I have got used to the lack of affection. I don't expect the spontaneous hugs and I know that I will never hear the words "I love you Mum!"
I didn't realise how much I missed having a *regular* relationship with my son until this little dog showed his delight at having me around. I don't want a lap dog; however, at times I lift him up and cuddle him into my body. I love that he tucks his head under my chin and makes little snuffling noises! I find myself going all gooey and I start with the baby talk!! I have to laugh at how silly I am over a dog! But really, look at that little face below and how can you not fall in love with it!!
Someone mentioned to me about getting a therapy dog for Nick! Well, I got the dog; however, it wasn't for autism sake. This dog is for all of us... because this family needs to have a balance. All too often, the decisions we make revolve around the needs of Nick! How will he cope, manage, survive and all that other stuff that goes hand in hand with my boy. I think that I am getting to the stage where I feel that life must go on regardless; and if that means buying a dog... then so be it!
What does Nick think of the dog? Nick is not wildly excited about it and I have a feeling that he thinks the dog is a pain in the butt! However, he is very tolerant and he is quick to let us know if he has had enough of the dog OR otherwise he puts a cushion on top of it! In order to establish the pecking order, I have given Nick the role of feeding the dog, although I make sure that the dog is not fed until after Nick has eaten his own meal... The dog has to know who is boss... right? I was so delighted the other day..... the dog was asleep in his bed and Nick went over to him and gave him three very quick pats! This only happened once, but still... I call that progress!
Di doesn't have much spare time for blogging at the moment! (I wonder why!!!!!!). You can find her over at The Bright Side of Life; and she promises not to waffle on about the dog!!