Saturday, January 1, 2011

We Made It

I cracked jokes because that’s what I do when I’m nervous or stressed. I always say if I didn’t laugh I’d cry. It was no less true today. A huge milestone was crossed today (as I giggled under my breath) when we entered the room to discuss my daughter’s eligibility for special education with our school district. On the whole she is marginal, and for that we are most grateful. However, that does not take away from the fact that she still needs support. More support than we can give her ourselves.

 

Months ago I realized she had been misdiagnosed for her Cerebral Palsy. We switched neurologists but had a long wait to see the new one, who confirmed what I had suspected and issued a correct diagnosis. With that in hand, I was able to leverage the services she truly needed through our regional center, though not without a couple of knock down, drag out fights.

 

So as each of her therapists and the school district team took their seats, I became overwhelmed with emotion and began to cry. I tried to hold it back, and remarked that I had specifically worn mascara to avoid this. Everyone chuckled and that helped me slow the tears. What had started out to be three meetings turned into nine, and this was number eight. I realized and respect the necessity of going through all the reports and assessment summaries required in the process, but they could have simply skipped to the end and told me the result and it would have been enough for me.

 

“We made it”, I thought as I wiped my tears and smiled. I started to relax as the discussion progressed. We were able to garner the services to support our daughter’s needs, plus preschool, and the enormous relief I felt was so foreign to me after the last three years of worry and tiptoeing through the tulips of Holland. I felt validated and lucky for having the foresight to get what we needed prior to this meeting so this team could properly evaluate our daughter. I felt happy that she would continue to have appropriate support. And I slumped happily in my chair with great relief that we would not have to navigate our way through the maze of searching for therapists on our own and handling all of the insurance paperwork. I would have done it if we had to, but what a blessing we don’t.

 

Every single fight was taxing. Every phone call and email drained us. But it was all worth it in every way. And I would do it all over again. 

8 comments:

  1. What a fantabulously lucky girl your daughter is to have an absolutely marvelous super mom like you! You are terrific and don't ever forget that! May your journey through the school yours be filled with grace and joy.
    Blessings,
    Melody~

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  2. Melody, thank you for your kind words. Happy new year!

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  3. Oh, I relate! Thank you for publishing this, it's so comforting to know I'm not the only one. (Not that I'd wish it on anyone, lol.) We are a military family so I get to got through the process every time we move. 8(

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  4. This gives me genuine hope that I will be able to soldier on for my daughter as she transitions from preschool into public school with her special needs. Thank You!

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  5. I remember sitting in the meeting with all the therapists, case coordinators, etc listening to them and thinking "Who are they talking about? They can't be talking about MY son.". It was so very difficult to listen to, but it got him the help he needed. He is now thriving in kindergarten. Hugs to you. You made it. :)

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  6. i can relate to the stress and "draining" feelings you have...but , on the bright side , i also can relate to the "relief" when you finally surround yourself, and child, with the help they need and deserve. i am the same as you. i have to laugh and crack jokes to keep from crying. congratulations on reaching one, of many, milestones yet to come. i am very happy for you and your family.

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  7. Congratulation to you, that's a great mom that knows she can take on anyone who stands in the way of her child's potential...I know where you are coming from...my family has gone thru the same thing. Keep on, Lexi, believe me it gets easier.

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  8. Ten and a half years ago, we were asked to foster a beautiful little 3 month old, medically fragile litlle three month old girl. then alittle over a year latter we adopted her. Julianna. She talked early and had some little quirks, we attributed to many hospitalizations. As time went on and we saw behaviors surfacing, meltdowns, lack of socieal skills. We realized that something more was going on. We started the testing process and it seemed to be one endless string of diagonises. ADHD, OCD, ODD. I still felt we were off the mark. Finally we have a diagnosis of PDD in the Autism spectrim. However I and her Teacher ,who has two Aspergers syndrome children, feel that is her real diagnosis. She a beautiful little girl, with so many strong points. When asked if knowing what we know now, and knew at the time of the adoption, would we have done it. I would say in a heart beat,Yes,yes, yes. While knowing life will have alot of hurdles for her, we are preparing her in every way we can for the future.

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