There is a line from a Dixie Chicks song that has been running though my head these last few weeks.
"Long time gone now
And it ain't comin' back again"
My hopefulness as a parent has been missing for a while now. It has been really hard to be "the Mom" these last few months. At first I really beat myself up over it. I kept trying to make everything right for everyone in our family but it was not working and I was taking it all very personally. It started in the summer and I kept plowing through thinking that if I worked hard enough I could make it all work.
I began to lose hope that it would ever change.
I felt like no matter what the avalanche of emotion that I was feeling would never get any better and every little thing would continue to overwhelm me. I was on the edge of depression and I thought things could not get any better.
I was wrong.
I got some help, I talked about what was going on. I blogged, I cried and I took a big step back from a lot of things.
I am slowly but surely coming to accept that I do not have all the answers and that I can not fix all of the challenges that my children face on my own. I have admitted defeat in few areas and you know what, now that I have done that I feel much better. I am not super human. I would like to be but I am not and even thought I am great Mom there are still things that I can not do.
I can not do it all at once.
I will find hope again.
J blogs and honestly as she can about her struggles to remain hopeful as she parents her sons at Stellar Parenting 101
Thank you so much for your honesty. I've been there also so many times, and sometimes for days / weeks on end! It is good to know that we are not alone in our struggles... hang in there!ReplyDelete
there are days (weeks?) when I feel like this as well. Those are the days when I turn to my friends, my blog, and here to Hopeful Parents to read that others like yourself are going through the same tough times. thanks for sharing your struggle.ReplyDelete
I'm so glad to hear that you are doing better. I was worried about you. You are a good mom - maybe not a miraculous superhero, but a good mom, and that's what you were called to be! Blessings, AngelaReplyDelete
I am so glad you ar efeeling better
You know you say that you cannot fix all your children's problems
But you must see that their how their life sooo much better with you in it
And all the problems you did fix
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