On being kind.. to yourself

There are many  lovely things  that have come to me, as I  growing into my role as a special  needs mum

For as a special needs mum, I am a mere 4 years old,.

Still learning my way  

One of the loveliest things to come , is finally  learning to look at myself with kinder eyes

The early years are most unkind

All the books for autie mums and dads, tell you that more is better

That you can never do enough

For your child needs more

And so you start to look at yourself and your days with all the things that you could not do

And all the things that you could not  be

But, this is starting to change for me  

I finish bedtime  with R’s current favorite story “Wild cats “

I read out the final line

“And the big eared cub is safe and sound as it rests besides its mother”

And while my own small eared cub rests besides me, I assess the day  in my mind

But, deliberately today, I count not the hours, spend in things I didn’t

 ( cooking, laundry , making a brunch for some friends –everyday  chores that autie mums/dads  feel guilty about, as its time away from the all important parent therapizing )

Instead, I count, all the things I did

Negotiating on the importance of keeping the band-aid on , blowing bubbles, singing many  songs, taking the “Little einsteins” for a jaunt down the mountain,

And all the loving (for this, indeed,  may be my great talent as a mother )

And the day feels well spend

And I feel content

 “Ring the bells that still can ring

Forget your perfect offering

There is a crack in everything

That’s how the light gets in”

Leonard Cohen

Floortime Lite mama writes about her  life and her charming 6 year old son with Autism and Apraxia on her blog Floortime Lite Mama