Not Knowing

I am not the first to travel

these paths of parenthood.

Not the first to miss

unmarked signs that lead me

to unpaved roads

into the dark woods of my life,

where I bump along, eyes wide,

senses heightened,

as I surrender to not knowing

where this road shall end.

It is here, that I trust,

all who have come before me.

 

I look into the eyes

of all the grown men around me.

I watch the future faces of my son.

In a flash, their lives speed by me.

They have traveled through

infancy, toddlerhood, illnesses,

families of all shapes and sizes,

shadowed woods, and joyful fields,

as they navigated their journey to adulthood.

 

I stand in amazement.

And with a knowing eye,

these men turn me around,

rewrap the blindfold over my eyes,

and send me back

to the roads of parenthood,

not knowing.