July 19th. A year to the day from when I started blogging. My 12th Hopeful Parents post. Two years this week from Pudding seeing a Speech Language Pathologist, and the dawning realization that autism was part of our life.
Time is on my mind lately, with just twelve days left in this country, it is impossible to think of anything else.
I should be in a frantic rush of panic and organizing, but the urgency just isn't there. I can't bring myself to think of time as running out, time is just going round. I'm constantly hit with déjà-vu, I've seen this before. I've done this already. We were past this point, weren't we?
Just as we are revisiting and reinforcing the concept of time at home with Pudding, so her teacher does the same at school. Every day we add the date to her velcro calendar, and every day talk about how many days left. But it hasn't sunk in with me, so I can't believe it has for her either. Regardless, time is moving on.
It dawns on me that this isn't a straight race to the finish line, I'm doing laps. Two years have brought incredible change, and yet some things appear entirely the same as they were. But they're not. We have changed, learned and grown, even as we see there is much further to go on this course than we realized.
This track is a series of bends from paper cuts and straights with sweet rewards. There are days when I feel like we're gaining ground, and other times where I feel like I'm just spinning my wheels. Yet even on those tough days, I still have my two reasons to be hopeful.
And 12 posts on, a year on, two years in- that is still good enough. I'm ready to go for another lap on a different course. Care to come along for the ride?