Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Excuses, Excuses

I missed my Hopeful Parents deadline last month.

I haven’t posted on my blog since May.  

The writing wheels came to a halt sometime at the end of the school year when I was inundated with school functions, IEP meetings, and the dreaded mediation with the school district -- the usual stuff. 

And then my mother’s illness worsened.

The words stayed trapped in my head, swirling and spinning and I avoided putting any of them on paper. Too raw. Too hard.

I flew across country two weeks ago with my family and spent a precious few days with her. The images and conversations from those days both haunt and comfort me. I scrawled some of them into my notebook but I can’t look at them. Not yet.  

I know I will write about it. I know I will write about being right there with her when she passed away. I know I will write about how being the parent of a kid with special needs gave me the strength and skills I needed to help her in those last few days. I know I will write about Oscar’s reaction, Ruby’s ease and Abe’s compassion. And I know I will write about our ordinary life again.

But I’m not ready. Not yet.

4 comments:

  1. When you're ready, we're here. All ears and hugs.

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  2. My heart is with you Mary.

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  3. I am thinking of you Mary! I think our perspective from parenting does enable us to be present and real in a way that is so important to our loved ones. I look forward to reading more about your experiences.
    Hugs xo

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  4. Thank you all, I really appreciate the support and good wishes.

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