Guilt

 

The other day after Fudge got in trouble for something he did at school he said.

“ Mama, I wish that it was summer.”

“Why Fudge?”

“ Because I follow the rules better in the summer and it is easier to behave. “

“Oh buddy ,I am sorry that things are so hard at school, tomorrow will be a better day. “

“Mama, I don’t think it will be a better day because behaving is just so hard for me.”

I am a “good catholic mama”, I provide a healthy dose of guilt when my children transgress but with Fudge that is not usually necessary. He has enough guilt for the both of us. His sense of right and wrong is strong but his impulsiveness so often gets in the way of his morality.

It is a struggle to explain to other kids that even though Fudge knew it was wrong he was unable to stop himself. I worry about what other kids are going to think as he gets bigger, as his impulsiveness becomes more and more obvious to the other kids around him. I worry that he will lack the social interactions he craves because of his inability to think before he reacts. I know that he will learn skills and that with time things will get easier but that impulse, that quick reaction will always lie in wait looking for minute when he lets his guard down.

 

 

J. writes at Stellar Parenting 101 where she talks about adoption issues, life with her boys and getting out into the garden as soon as she can.