Monday, March 5, 2012

Living in the Now

Worry about our kids future is something all parents do


But for mums and dads of special needs kids –worry takes on a whole new dimension


We worry about what the future will look like.We worry who will love them, when we  are gone


I thought  about worry yesterday.


 When I read a friend’s blog and she talked about the worries of her daughter’s future .


Another mother commented on her post by linking on to another article.


In this way, I landed on this beautifully written depressing article.


You know the kind of article I am talking about


The first-person account of a worst-case outcome


As soon as I clicked on the link, I recognized it.


I had already read the article 3 years ago .


It was such a beautiful article written by a sensitive and caring mother .


 I remembered how sad and hopeless it had made me feel  3 years ago.


But not this time.


For now I have realized, the importance of censoring what I read on the internet


Of reading, but not internalizing


Because many of us have the “extrapolation problem”


We read about one bad outcome and imagine that to be in our future


We have one bad incident with our child and we extrapolate that into an extreme.


The truth is that no one can predict our kids’ future


There are no guarantees of what is to come


Any rational being can see that this generation of autistic children is being supported like no other generation  and so we really cannot predict based on past generations.


But even besides that point


We should  hope for a better tomorrow because  a hopeful way of being, is an end in itself


A most powerful choice is our choice of what we focus on and what we think about


What we focus on is what will grow


I am constantly being interrupted in the writing of this article as my son is urging me to pack a picnic.


I listen to the eclectic list of items he thinks should be in the basket


I think how grateful I am that this magical child has taught to me to live in today


For its truly a gift of being on this road .And of being mum to R


Tomorrow will come when tomorrow comes 


For now there is the joy of today 


“Its not what if.. Its what’s now “

 Author unknown 

I write about love, life and autism at Floortime Lite Mama