It's too long of a story to go on about why I'm burned out. I'm sure you can all relate. And that part of the story doesn't matter anyway.
It's the guilty that matters. I'm on Facebook with many parents who have special needs. My son doesn't have an infected, bloody G-Tube with doctors who can't do anything about it. My son isn't having wicked hallucinations, though that is his affliction. We aren't having money problems. My son isn't dying.
Even still, I'm so burned out from this week that I want to SCREAM.
And I feel bad about it. Like I have no right to scream. That this is my problem for not being able to keep myself together better. That this is my problem for not figuring out a way to blow-off steam. That this is my problem for not taking better care of me.
It's just "normal" life around here: dealing with a child who has a cold, dealing with a child who has a short fuse and an explosive temper, dealing with a child who does hallucinate (but not in an awful way for a long time). I know how to handle all of this.
So not only am I feeling burned out from an entire week of Spring Break with no respite from my child and feeling overwhelmed that Spring Break for him continues next week as well, I'm beating myself up for feeling guilty.
Not good.
That's all.
One important thing to remember - it isn't a contest, and your reality is not dictated by anyone else's. So if you're having a hard time, you have just as much right to feel overwhelmed as anyone else, and no need at all to feel guilty about it.
ReplyDeleteOne of the hardest lessons to learn (and remember)... :-)
Sending you so many hugs
ReplyDelete