Tuesday, March 8, 2011

What I Could Have Written

I woke up this morning and acted like I don't post on Hopeful Parents on the 8th of every month.  Once I got my wits about me, I spent a good ten minutes reflecting on where the heck the month went and then panicked because I have had a major case of writer's block. 

Honestly, there has just been so much going on that I write posts in my head all day. Unfortunately by the time everyone is in bed and I have the actual time to type it out, I am exhausted.  Today is lucky, I had to take an early day from work to take D to his OT appointment and I have about ten minutes to get a post out.  But sitting here, I don't know what to write about.  What stands out is the recent birth of our beautiful niece and the senseless death of our wonderful nephew and how both incidents, have impacted us forever.  What also stands out is D's recent spurts of progress.  He amazed me the other night with: "Mom, what did you want to be as a grown up when you were a kid?".

Hello theory of mind!

Needless to say it made my night, but in typical autism rollercoaster style, D lost it pretty bad at school the next day and ended up kicking another child.  It suprised both his teacher and I, as he usually saves the hitting for himself. 

Which leads me to the next thing I could blog about.....school.  Our IEP meeting isn't until June and my stomach turns every time I think about it.  Hopefully it won't be as awful as I worry it will be.  Past experience has left me a bit traumatized and we just can't afford to keep D in private school. 

I could also write about how I have been taking some personal inventory on how I am handling D's autism a year later.  It seems I've still got a long way to go on the acceptance train.  I mean I know D has autism, but some part of me still keeps thinking I will wake up and it won't be the case.  It is strange not being able to control that emotion.   MOM-NOS posted here about ASD and PTSD a little while ago, her blog had a major impact on both me and my husband.  I that think we have spent the past year in survival mode while attempting to navigate the cumbersome system that exists when you have a child with special needs.  Neither one of us was really considering just how hard this has been for the other. It opened an amazing dialogue in our house and we are doing that much better because of it.  I'm ashamed to say that I haven't taken a second to send MOM-NOS a thank you email, just like so much these past few weeks it has gotten lost in the shuffle of things.  But I will be sending it once this is done.

Well there we go, an entire blog about what I could have blogged about. :)

You can find Shivon over at My Brain Wants To Go Home blogging about her wonderful family and how they do Autism.

1 comment:

  1. it never occurred to me that some of my fellow special needs moms are hit with the double whammy - a dx for their children AND dealing with the maze of school systems at the same time. My son was dx'd at 18 months and it was a long, slow process before he entered school. So do whatever you need to process & get yourself through it - and it is a process to process it all. :)