Wednesday, January 27, 2010


Little drives me crazier than having a post written out in my head, and have it evaporate in the two hours between mental completion and actual typing. It's that "get 'em up, get 'em dressed, get 'em fed, get 'em outta the house" set of activities in the morning that just sucks the ol' brain dry.

The irony was that I wanted to write on focus.

Last night was parent teacher conferences. And I was going to vamp on that and the continuing struggles my oldest, twice-exceptional son has in school. I actually had most of a post written here, but had to rush out for a bit before I clicked "publish."

I do a lot of thinking in the car, especially when I'm alone. When I'm alone in the MomVan, it's delish. No radio, no bickering kids, just me and my thoughts. And I decided that more whining about my son and his educational situation...just wasn't right.

I know how blessed I am.

It's been a rough couple of months at home. We've taken A off his ADHD meds and haven't put him on another; the variety of side effects just haven't been worth it. So his focus is scattered, though improving. I found a local school that would be ideal for him and his the tune of $11,000 a year. The economy happened to look our way and realize, "I haven't smited you yet!" and then, you know, smote us. Our five year old, J, has taken up whining as his life's work and I'm starting to regret the last four years of speech therapy more than just a little. Life is moving at an ever-increasing sprint, and I'm falling over trying to keep up.

Yet I know how blessed I am.

I have a loving family, with sons who are truly best friends. I have a husband who works extremely hard so that I can stay home to support our boys (for the time being...if that school is to be a reality, a full-time job is in my future). I have a warm house, with internet access so I can whine to my friends on Facebook; food in the pantry; gas in the MomVan. We are safe and secure. No struggling to survive poverty or natural disasters or heartless dictators.

I know how blessed I am.

We have access, however ungodly expensive, to first-class medical care. Access to therapies to help my sons not just overcome their obstacles but to thrive. Access to healthy food and clean water. Clothes on our backs, shoes on our feet, books in our home. I have a lifestyle that a hundred years ago would have been considered magic.

Things suck right now, for a lot of people, and badly. Every day there is more bad news, on the television, from my friends. What is getting me through is that we're all in this together...we're all on this rock, spinning around the sun, together. Nothing is going to be perfect (and from a perfectionist, this is hard to admit), but things are going to get better. Perhaps not soon, but they will. I have so much in my life to be happy about, to be proud of, to love, despite the challenges that threaten to drag me down.

I know how blessed I am.


Jen also writes at Laughing at Chaos.