So I have a spouse who refuses to acknowledge that our daughter is a child with sensory processing issues...anyone else experience this? Please tell me I'm not alone.
At first, I thought he'd come around. I'm aware that it takes people time to process information and accept a reality they did not initially expect. So I waited and waited and waited..........................
Then, I thought I'd provide further information that wasn't just coming from me. I bought books and asked him to read them. I printed out articles on the Internet from respectable sources. I even brought it up in front of our pediatrician while my husband was in the room.
So I waited some more, and dealt with what he believes is just a behavioral problem. I've had countless conversations with him about how to address her needs while maintaining boundaries. She doesn't wander through the world aiming to annoy him. She is trying to meet her sensory needs. Yes, she needs rules, routine, and structure. We've done that, and we do that. But most of all, she needs his love and acceptance.
Um, we're moving onto age 8 next, and still he is in complete and utter denial. Now, I'm just annoyed and angry and disappointed. How can a father not realize he is shattering her self-esteem? Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr
The most unfortunate part of this is that she is learning that he discriminates against her. He'll pick her sister to assist him with chores, and tell her she is too clumsy to help. If she spills something at meal times, he acts like it was done on purpose to offend him.
There is something wrong with him.
Now, I'm trying to help her realize she has beautiful, amazing qualities which make her the perfect girl she is...and always will be. That no matter what he says...she should embrace herself with love.
I just wish he could do the same for her.
All I know is this:
I've got to lead by example, and maybe it is time for me to move along. She needs to know that I don't approve of this.
I've been cycling through this same pattern for far too many years. Obviously, it isn't working.
Anyone else deal with this?