Sunday, August 11, 2013

Moments of Grace

Sometimes things just don't go as planned. At all.  I hate having bad weeks, because for me it is never just one bad thing, it s lots of bad things.  All at once.  It's hard to stay positive when they happen, but sometimes there is that moment during the day when something positive, funny or downright ridiculous happens that steps in and saves my sanity.  I call these moments of grace.

They happen at times when I would really rather just go home, hide and eat chocolate.

A moment found me after I left a psychiatrist's office.  My son had been having anxiety attacks and we couldn't calm him.  The abuse he suffered before he was adopted is massive.  The Dr. believes that he has PTSD and lots of loops misfiring in his little brain where his bio mom hit him again and again and again.  He has to have massive amounts of testing done and believes that if he is bad enough we will send him away.  Sitting in the office listening to him was like ripping my heart out of my chest and stomping on it.  I was driving home with the kids and we passed a man well endowed with hair everywhere, in a speedo, on a bicycle.  My son could not stop staring and told me that maybe the man was trying to take a shower (it was raining).  O.K.  so I know it's not nice to laugh, but it did make me smile.

A moment found me when I was in the drugstore stocking up for my son's colon cleanse.  When we were at the GI doctor we found out our son has damaged his body from holding it and is very stretched out down below.  It will take about a year to fix it and I will basically be toilet training my 6 year old from scratch.  Starting with a massive colon cleanse.  I had Cary with me picking up all the stuff tarps, pull ups, wipes, Lysol, and all that good stuff.  A woman with blue hair, a baseball cap, and an I love Memphis shirt stops me and looks at my stuff and Cary.  Without missing a beat she says, "My my they can sure make smellies at that age.  I remember my son...."  here she launches into a really great story and the best part is that her grown up son was standing there looking like he wished the earth would swallow him up.  She ends with the fact that he is now a toilet trained productive member of society and not to give up.  I must say that was a big moment of grace.

A moment found me when Cary got her leg braces and we went in search of shoes.  We went to a specialty store after I checked out several with no luck on finding shoes that fit over braces. I was frazzled, frustrated, and tired.  I explained my delima to the sales lady who also happened to be a manager and she and another woman not only help me find shoes, but socks, and a pink leopard print skirt.  I went to pay and that angel simply charged me for the socks.  She looked at my daughter and me and told me that I was an awesome mom and  that my kids were so lucky to have me.  I about cried.  Another moment of grace.  And now I will be shopping there on a regular basis.  I was asked not to tell the name of the store and not to mention it in the store, but I will be a shopper there from now on.

So these were my moments this week.  Things that kept me going and sane.  I know some weeks will be like this and some weeks won't, but when they are I will look and find grace.

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Amy Fields is a wife, mother, and a mom to two SN kids, two cats, two rabbits, and a opossum who thinks he is a pet.  You can follow her at Many Kinds of Families.