Monday, November 5, 2012

Hope through the years....

Birth: The joy of meeting my son was immeasurable and my hopes for the future all shiny and bright.

One year: Tired and bewildered, I exclaimed, “he is a late developer like his brother”. I hold onto the hope that he will crawl sometime in the immediate future.

Two years: Feeling unhappy that I have been dragging my boy to therapies for a year and don't see much progress. Am becoming aware that something is off kilter. I don’t recall any hope.

Three years: The Neuro Specialist said, "don't worry, Mummy, he will outgrow it by the time he is five". Hope raises its head. The Ed Psych handed me some notes on autism as I leave her room. Bullshit, I thought... and put the notes in a drawer.

Four years: Sad, exhausted and cutting myself off from people. That is all I remember.

Five years: No recall. No hope.

Six years: Trying hard to smile. Pretending that I am fine. False hope.

Seven years: Finally, after the stress of no schooling options for my boy, we start our own school. Hope flickers.

Eight years: Life is busy. Still running around trying to squeeze as much information into Nick as possible. Hope is moving with the beat.

Nine years: Addressing the sibling issues. We are all affected by the demands of our roles. Hope shrugs.

Ten years: I feel lighter. I smile more. Life is getting better. Hope enfolds me within arms.

Eleven years: I need to get closer to my boy. I need to play a better, more deeper role. Hope is screaming "do it!"

Twelve years: I am smiling broadly, laughing out loud, loving life. My boy is moving forward. Hope is walking alongside me.

Thirteen years: Relaxed and enjoying a slower pace of life. Mostly happy. Forever hopeful.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Di lives in a house full of males... two teenage boys, one hubby and two dogs. Due to her youngest son being autistic, she owns a small school for children with autism and developmental delays. Di blogs over at the Bright Side of Life.


  1. Di, that is a beautiful post, sharing how hope changes over time. you give me hope, but you also teach me acceptance - acceptance that hope is ever changing and that i am not alone in experiencing that. thank you xxx

  2. Hi h0peful mummy, thank you so much for your lovely comment and for sharing this post on twitter. Whenever I think of you, I remember your beautiful photos of New Zealand ~ I enjoy our connection! :) I don't know about you, but when I visualise photos of such beauty.. they also give me hope. xx

    Dear Readers, I would like to share this wonderful post on *Hope*. It was written today, by Katie, from The life and Times of Team Kitchen. We also share a connection ~ Katie lives in the same town as my sister!

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  3. I see hope and activity as the themes here, and for me both of these help me to keep going too xx

    1. Thank you for your comment and I am glad that they keep you going as well.... xx

  4. Hey Di, thanks for sharing that beautiful summary.

  5. Oh wow, this post touched me deeply. I am so sorry you went through all those dark & lonely years, Di. But it really sounds as though you're in a good space now. One filled with lots of love & light. Kudos to you, for meeting all those unforeseen challenges head on, & never giving up Hope. You are a very strong woman, & clearly a huge inspiration to many.

  6. Lovely, bittersweet summary of your journey so far...with a lot of hope :-)

    ((xx Jazzy))

  7. Dear Stranded and Petra. Thank you for your lovely comments. Nice to know that I am travelling this journey with you both. xx

    Hi PG, thanks for stopping by. I guess we all have to aim for the good space and we do get there eventually. Have you seen this blog? Another Joburg mum; and I think she is great. Thank you tons for taking the time to comment. Great news re the Ridge! :)

    Hiya Jazzy, phew, even though it was a short post, it was a bit of a *lump in the throat* moment when writing it! x

    Hi MOIxx, Thanks so much.... you are far too kind! :)

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