Yes, I am proud to admit it, I am a creature of habit. Every day I get up at the same time, even on weekends, have about the same thing for breakfast in the same order, shower from left to right (alright, probably too much info, but you get the idea), and go on to work either at my job or my weekend tasks. I leave at the same time, drive the same way, and always always listen to the same thing on the radio (AFR if you are interested).
But lately, things have been really off. I went to Colorado for a family vacation so of course getting up at 3:30 am (5:30 our time) is kind of silly, I couldn't eat the same things for breakfast, and my days were not nicely organized. There was a lot of time to goof off and get really out of sync. I loved my visit and seeing my family, but when I am out of kilter things don't go well.
We have had more news on the baby. Harmoni. I thought it was pronounced Harmony but it is more like har-MAN-ee. Sort of like harmonica. Anyway, I digress. We had to make some choices about her. We are hoping to bring her home soon, but that is a little ways off. She is another post=). Her own post. Having a baby means transitions. And choices. Big choices. Life changing choices. Habit changing choices.
As a creature of habit it is hard to change. Letting old dreams die to bring about new ones. I am like the little kid scared to swim in the pool. I dip my toe in over and over and come out shaking. I have spent last week hoping that I could keep both dreams, but Shannon and I had to choose what dream we would follow. After much talking, praying, seeking counsel from trusted people, we made a choice. The death of an old dream for the birth of a new one.
It seems like I am talking in riddles, doesn't it? For now I am still hurting too much and just needed a good place to vent. As I have always said this is much cheaper than therapy!! I cling to hope and my faith that despite the winds of change that I will emerge stronger and able to handle all the transitions that life sees fit to throw at me!
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Amy is a wife, mother, teacher, and is in the process of adopting her second special needs child. You can visit her at her blog Many Kinds of Families.