Saturday, July 28, 2012

The Tao of Special Needs Parenting

"It is as we expected," the geneticist said to me, "your son has Prader Willi Syndrome."

And suddenly, like my new born infant, I too began a difficult new journey.

My son's birth was traumatic and frightening. It was as if someone had maliciously thrown me into the cold, deep end of the pool, knowing I could not swim.

Instinctively, I realized, that in order to survive, I needed to keep my body in a constant state of motion.

And although this survival technique of treading water did indeed save my life, after many years of thoughtless, continuous movement, I began to realize, I wasn't really getting anywhere. More importantly, I was starting to become fatigued and dispirited.

As a parent of a child diagnosed with PWS, I am accustomed to chaos.

It is not unusual for my son to experience unexpected surgeries, unwelcome lab results, unusual seizure activity, poor cognitive testing and additional diagnoses. I am not complaining since it is this unusually high level of stress that has enabled me to understand the true meaning of the word resiliency.

But the greatest difficulty I face amidst all this hardship and stress, is my inability to find a sense of peace.

How do I disassociate my son from his syndrome, seeing him as a delightful boy and not a devastating diagnosis?

How do I stop living in the past, reflecting on his traumatic birth?

How do I stop fearing the future, and what life will be like for him when I am gone?

How do I help my family and I to live in the now, happy and unaffected by what may lie around the next corner?

How do I quiet my mind?

In trying to answer these difficult questions, I have discovered that my spiritual path has somehow become fast-tracked. It is as if someone pressed the fast forward button, hurling my life forward at break-neck speed allowing me to ask those difficult life questions now, enabling me perhaps to quickly discover my one true path.

Perhaps not coincidentally, I stumbled upon the word Tao, a word Chinese philosophers use to describe this spiritual journey.

In Taoism, the object of spiritual practice is to harmonise one's will with Nature in order to achieve effortless action. This involves meditative and moral practices, focusing on the concept of virtue.

Can you coax your mind from its wandering
and keep to the original oneness?
Can you let your body become
supple as a newborn child's?
Can you cleanse your inner vision
until you see nothing but the light?
Can you love people and lead them
without imposing your will?
Can you deal with the most vital matters
by letting events take their course?
Can you step back from you own mind
and thus understand all things?


The Tao philosophy also embraces the concept of "The Interdependence of All Things'. Taoist philosophers determined that everything has its complementary opposite. More than this, they saw that everything can only be understood by comparing it to its opposite.

Day is only day in relation to night, cold only cold in relation to heat, and soft only soft in relation to hard. Looking deeper still, they realized that these relationships are in a constant state of flux: Day flows gradually into night and back again.

All things, then, are interdependent. By observing the processes of Nature, the Taoists say, we can come to some understanding about the meaning of our lives and about our place in the world.

A Zen Master will describe our minds as loud drunken monkeys while our Buddha-self can only whisper. The monkeys must be soothed into a quiet state to enable ourselves to hear.

Ironically, my "disabled" son has always seemed to possess an "abled" and enlightened spirit. He is immune to the sound of screeching thoughts. His kind and gentle nature is incongruous to the harsh and chaotic lifestyle that we lead. I can't help but wonder if this too holds some significance?

Are the answers to my questions buried somewhere beneath these opposing influences?

Do I impose my will, making extra appointments with therapists and specialists, or do I need to embrace Nick's gentle nature, release my fear, accept our life and just enjoy the time we share together?

Perhaps to help my son, I must allow him simply to be.


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Lisa Peters shares her family adventures in special needs parenting at www.onalifelessperfect.blogspot.com. Come visit our blog to learn more about Prader Willi Syndrome, ADHD, Aspergers and our crazy life trying to find happiness amidst all the chaos.

100 comments:

  1. I agree that raising as special needs child can, and ideally is, fast-track spirituality! I really believe these kids are here to teach!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks Carrie, sometimes I feel like we are the Usain Bolt's of the parenting world!

    ReplyDelete
  3. As a person who practices Buddhist meditation techniques and mindfulness, I can appreciate your post on living in the moment. I've personal found that mindfulness helped me overcome my traumatic experiences with my two special needs daughters. Thanks for sharing your spiritual journey with us. Great post!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thanks Tim, I am a relative newcomer to the practice of meditation but like you, I am finding some amazing benefits. Getting started was the difficult part but I purchased a few cd's and that seemed to help me alot. Have been immersing myself in readings of mindfulness, Tao, spiritualism etc and so far much of these teachings are resonating with me. Thank you for your comment, I am an admirer of your writing and the family journey you share with us.

    ReplyDelete
  5. There are various options to find such service providers but finding someone trustworthy with the great reputation and clean track record is a tricky task, for that you need to be a bit of prepared so that you are not duped by the swindle service providers. Considering such points, we have come in the market to assist you with all your requirements and to endow you with the best movers and packers in Ahmedabad nearby your location.

    Packers and Movers in Delhi

    Packers and Movers in Noida

    Packers and Movers in Faridabad

    Packers and Movers in Ghaziabad

    ReplyDelete
  6. Export5th Packers and Movers India to chase your dreams of any kind or as a student to get higher education or any other purpose, if yes then you need to get in touch with the right relocation service providers who could endow you with the complete range of services without any sort of hassle. Efforts to get in touch with someone who is able to match all your demands and all sufficient to help you with all your requirements in a fully comfortable manner.

    Packers and Movers Pune

    Packers and Movers Mumbai

    Packers and Movers Hyderabad

    Packers and Movers Bangalore

    ReplyDelete
  7. office.com/setup is very easy to install, download and redeem. Use of it is also simple and the user can learn the use of it easily. Online Support&help option is also available in all application which provides an instant guideline.

    ReplyDelete
  8. office.com/myaccount – If you want to manage your Microsoft Office product subscription then visit office.com/myaccount. Office.com/myaccount gives the provision of managing the Office account entirely to its users. The Office product subscriptions can be managed by you from anywhere if you have an internet connection on your device. You can sign in to download and install the Microsoft office product on your system or to manage the Microsoft account.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Unable Login Office App Using Work School Account – Microsoft Office suite allows you to finish the several tasks in a very easy manner. You can download and install the Office application on your system to use it offline. But in case you wish to use the Online version of the Office then you need to login to your Microsoft account. You can use the Office app anytime by using the valid login credentials. Here in this article, we are going to discuss the procedure to fix the issue Unable To Login Office App Using Work/School Account.

    ReplyDelete
  10. norton.com/setup - Online Help – Step by Step guide for Norton Setup, Download & complete installation online. We are providing independent support service if in case you face problem to activate or Setup Norton product.

    ReplyDelete
  11. hp printer support – When it comes to the Printer, HP is one of the first choices for many users. They design and develop devices that are reliable, easy to use and efficient. The company also offers the services for its hardware as well as software components to the customers. HP provides products for home, small businesses, government sector and large enterprises.

    ReplyDelete
  12. With the affirmations to handle your tax preparation, TurboTax also helps their users with any kind of issue related to their software. TurboTax provides support services to their users by toll free number, chat, by mailing the issue or join the community to ask/answer the questions. Contact them anytime you want, their experts and technicians are always there to help you with your issue so that you can experience the best of TurboTax Support.

    Quicken offers a very reliable support service to help their customer download, install and reinstall Quicken for the best experience. With years of experience of troubleshooting the problems of customer, Quicken is here to provide you with best services. Call them on their toll-free number or live chat with technicians. Choose the mode of contact and your problem will be solved in matter of few minutes.Quicken Support.

    Quickbooks Support - The reason for this error is problem-related with software or user do not have ample knowledge to use the specific software. If you are facing either or both of the issue then help is just a call away. Call our Quickbooks Customer Support team now at our toll-free number. Our services are 24*7 available for all the valued customer. We provide all kind of technical support regarding the Quickbooks.


    ReplyDelete
  13. www.office.com/setup - We made Office Setup so easy that you may simply run the setup by visiting office.com/setup and enter the product key to get started with www.Office.com/setup.
    office.com/setup

    www.office.com/setup - We made Office Setup so easy that you may simply run the setup by visiting office.com/setup and enter the product key to get started with www.Office.com/setup.
    office.com/setup

    If getting trouble in the installation of Norton setup then contact Norton support or norton.com/setup to get the best solution to your problem. Our representative will guide you through the Norton setup installation procedure and help you with the other error as well related to your Norton product.
    norton.com/setup

    ReplyDelete
  14. Brother printer is an internationally acclaimed electronic brand that manufactures a wide range of products that ranges from electronics to certain other electronic commodities. The Brothers Printer range is a product of a Japanese brand called Brother Industries which is headquartered in Japan. This includes a wide range of printers like inkjet, Brother laser printer to the modern wireless technologies. Along with the products, this company has also got great and satisfactory Brother Printer Customer Support solutions. Brother Printer Technical Support
    Brother Printer Support Number
    Brother Printer Customer Support Number
    Brother Printer USA Number
    https://www.dialprintersupport.com/brother-printer-technical-support.php

    ReplyDelete
  15. www.office.com/setup
    Learn, how to download and setup Microsoft office software For Windows and Mac OS PC/Laptop.

    ReplyDelete
  16. www.office.com/setup
    Learn, how to download and setup Microsoft office software For Windows and Mac OS PC/Laptop

    ReplyDelete
  17. Hello! This is my first visit to your blog! This is my first comment here, so I just wanted to give a quick shout out and say I genuinely enjoy reading your articles. Your blog provided us useful information. You have done an outstanding job.
    https://ivc-services.com/india-visa-singapore/

    ReplyDelete
  18. Thanks for sharing such a great information with us. Your Post is very unique and all information is reliable for new readers. Keep it up in future, thanks for sharing such a useful post. Our toll-free number is accessible throughout the day and night for the customer if they face any technical issue in BROTHER PRINTER Call us +1888-621-0339 Brother Printer Support USA Brother Printer Technical Support Phone Number

    ReplyDelete
  19. Thanks for sharing such a great information with us.
    EZWAY TV

    ReplyDelete
  20. Hello! This is my first visit to your blog! This is my first comment here, so I just wanted to give a quick shout out and say I genuinely enjoy reading your articles. Your blog provided us useful information. You have done an outstanding job.
    malaysia visa for indians


    ReplyDelete
  21. Thanks a lot for sharing it, i got here huge knowledge i like you website and bookmarked in my PC
    Yeh Rishta Kya Kehlata Hai Episode

    ReplyDelete
  22. Thanks for this article. It contains the information i was searching for and you have also explained it well.
    Kasauti Zindagi Ki Episode

    ReplyDelete
  23. Thanks a lot for sharing it, that’s truly has added a lot to our knowledge about this topic. Have a more successful day.
    Kulfi Kumar Bajewala Episode

    ReplyDelete

  24. Thanks for sharing such great information with us.
    Your blog is very unique and all information
    is reliable for new readers.
    virtual servants

    ReplyDelete
  25. Install Office Setup – Sign-in to you microsoft account and then Enter 25 digit alphanumeric office setup product key on country and language.click on next to start office installation.We are the best Office Setup in US, Canada and Australia. www.office.com/setup

    ReplyDelete
  26. Online Pharmacy click here Pills is a very user friendly online medication shop. Our team is constantly working to give our customer best service. Total fourteen types of medicines for three different problems like pain, erectile dysfunction and cognitive enhancement. Our mission is to make medicines discover-able, affordable and understandable.So that you can know about online pharmacy pills. You can shop for all your medicines that you need from the comfort of your home or office.

    Online Pharmacy Pills is the best place to order your remedial drugs at affordable cost.Online Pharmacy Pills is the best place to order your remedial drugs at affordable cost.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Let the student focus on the quality of writing and keep the process of finding the source to yourself. Avail the best possible sources such as books, audio books or you can search for Java Assignment Help too.

    ReplyDelete
  28. We are a group of volunteers and opening a new system in our community. Your web site provided us with valuable information to work on. You’ve done an impressive job and our entire community will be grateful to you. happy wedding anniversary quotes

    ReplyDelete
  29. Very nice and interesting article. It`s always great to read about people who make all these useful things for us. Thank you. Kryptowaluty , sprawdz rowniez kursy kryptowalut

    ReplyDelete
  30. Thank you for such an interesting blog. If you are looking for more such informative blogs, visit Great Assignment Help website. Here you will not only find information, but also Best Online Assignment Help from professionals. It is a one-stop solution for all your assignment writing-related queries.

    http://helpassignment.onesmablog.com/How-Assignment-Help-Experts-Make-Your-Exam-Days-Easier--20698055

    https://greatassignmenthelp.yolasite.com/

    ReplyDelete
  31. Nice post. I was checking continuously this weblog and I am impressed! Extremely helpful information specially the remaining phase ?? I deal with such information a lot. I was seeking this certain info for a very lengthy time. Thank you and best of luck.Kryptowaluty , sprawdz rowniez kursy kryptowalut

    ReplyDelete
  32. I found this one pretty fascinating and it should go into my collection. Very good work! I am Impressed. We appreciate that please keep going to write more content. We are the assignment helper, we provide services all over the globe. We are best in these :- services

    Essay writing
    Essay Writer
    Article rewriter
    Essay writing service
    Essay writing help
    Write My Essay
    Write My Article
    hire writer
    Write my essay cheap
    hire article writer

    ReplyDelete
  33. Thanks for sharing this information. I have shared this link with others keep posting such information. to provide best in class law assignment help online at very affordable prices.
    Assignment Help
    Assignment Helper
    Essay writing
    Essay writing service
    Dissertation help
    Thesis writing help
    Write My Essay
    Computer Science Assignment Help
    Assignment Help South Africa
    Assignment Writing Service

    ReplyDelete
  34. Many of the people are depressed about the problems of essay writing. Well, don’t worry about that because we are providing this service at a very reasonable price.
    Digital Markrting Blog
    SEO Blog
    Social Media Blog
    Email Marketeting Blog
    Online marketing Blog

    ReplyDelete
  35. Norton.com/setup-Norton has aptly earned the reputation of “King of Antivirus”. Millions of people across the globe rely on Norton products and services. mcafee.com/activate -McAfee antivirus is one of the most used and trusted antivirus in the world today. Office.com/setup- Microsoft Office is the best and most popular suite of desktop productivity apps across the world. Office.com/setup - Everybody who has a computer or knows how to work on one has used Microsoft Office at some point or the other. Office.com/setup -The best thing about MS Office is that it is flexible and works in all kinds of environments from home to business. Office.com/setup-When computers first entered the world, in the 1940s, they consisted of vacuum tubes. Office.com/setup-Microsoft Office has thought of a dash of latest updates in its applications, for instance, Word, Excel, PowerPoint, Access, and others

    ReplyDelete
  36. I found this one pretty fascinating and it should go into my collection. Very good work! I am Impressed. We appreciate that please keep going to write more content. We are the assignment helper, we provide services all over the globe. We are best in these:- services
    Do My Homework
    Do My Assignment

    ReplyDelete
  37. Tramadol is an intense pain reliever which is used to treat mild to serious pain in the body. It belongs to a drug called Opioid Analgesics. It changes the sensation in your body, meaning; it will change the feeling of any pain and how you react to it. It is often combined with paracetamol. Though, you need to consult your doctor in order to purchase this medication. Doctors would prescribe this medication to treat mild to mildly acute pain. You could buy cheap tramadol 50mg from globalonlines pills that provide 100% authentic medicines. Tramadol doesn’t have long term side effects, if you face any side effects it’d be for shorter period.
    https://globalonlinepills.com/product/tramadol-50-mg/

    ReplyDelete
  38. Your search has ended if you were looking for website development, software development or a mobile app development company, and also render the digital marketing services along with these. We believe in providing satisfactory results in decent time to win customers' faith and trust to strengthen the bond for the long term. Connect with our experts by dialing +91-9910070501 to learn more.

    Software Development Services

    Web Designing Services

    Online Marketing

    Mobile Application Development

    SEO Services

    ReplyDelete
  39. Don't overlook the need to upgrade your CRM Software. It works as the backbone of your business. If your present software is not capable and if your clients are not satisfied with your customer services, then you must not waste a second and dial +91 9910070501 to connect with the software development company.

    CRM System

    Custom Software Development Services

    Extranet Portals

    Intranet Solutions

    Content Management Websites

    ReplyDelete
  40. Nice one! thank you so much! Thank you for sharing this post. Your blog posts are more in
    Visit : mcafee.com/activate | office.com/setup | norton.com/setup

    ReplyDelete
  41. Interesting webpage. I really like the design and the useful information.
    norton.com/setup
    mcafee.com/activate
    office.com/setup

    ReplyDelete
  42. Thank you so much for sharing these amazing tips. I must say you are an incredible writer, I love the way that you describe the things. Please keep sharing.

    For more information visit on office.com/setup | Norton.com/setup | Norton.com/setup | mcafee.com/activate | Norton.com/setup | mcafee.com/activate

    ReplyDelete
  43. Nice blog!! this is quite impressive article..thanks for sharing..regards..
    Norton AntiVirus is an anti-virus and anti-malware software package developed to provide an optimal and secure way to protect your computer systems fromany kind of infectios,like ransomeware,phishing attacks,security breach,hacking your computer system etc. Norton family of computer security products. It uses signatures and heuristics to identify viruses. Other features included in it are e-mail spam filtering and phishing protection.norton.com/setup
    Norton AntiVirus runs on all types of platforms such as Windows,Mac,etc.
    We prodive optimal support regarding any problem with related to Norton set up and complaibility issues.
    Visit@https://nortonsetup-key.com
    norton.com/setup
    or call on our toll free no-18006092780

    ReplyDelete
  44. This is very nice information if you want to use Norton antivirus Firstly you go to norton.com/setup.Norton antivirus all over word most popular and secure antivirus.Norton.com/Setup
    |
    norton setup

    ReplyDelete
  45. Visit office.com/setup and check the newly released subscription and its features. This is a standalone subscription for a one-time purchase. Each and every application of the Microsoft Office has been updates and coming out with new and easy-to-use features. More info. Visit on Norton.com/Setup | kaspersky total security

    ReplyDelete
  46. Stretch Tents Cape Town provides different types of tents like Peg & Pole tents, Aluminium Tents, Frame Tents, Bedouin Tents, Pagoda Tents, Canvas Tents and many more. Some of our tent accessories include: Plastic Chairs, Tiffany Chairs, Wimbledon Chairs, Phoenix Chairs, Plastic Folding Tables, Mobile Chillers, Mobile Freezers, Tarpaulin Tarps, Flooring and Gas Stoves. Stretch Tents manufacturers South Africa.

    ReplyDelete
  47. Stretch Tents Cape Town provides different types of tents like Peg & Pole tents, Aluminium Tents, Frame Tents, Bedouin Tents, Pagoda Tents, Canvas Tents and many more. Some of our tent accessories include: Plastic Chairs, Tiffany Chairs, Wimbledon Chairs, Phoenix Chairs, Plastic Folding Tables, Mobile Chillers, Mobile Freezers, Tarpaulin Tarps, Flooring and Gas Stoves. Stretch Tents manufacturers South Africa.

    ReplyDelete
  48. We are the most trusted manufacturers of mobile chillers and freezers in South Africa because we pride ourselves on giving customers international quality. It is important to note that the extensive and rich knowledge of our team also helps us to understand and meet clients’ requirements within short lead times. Our well-versed team also assist in developing designs as per client’s specifications as well as introduce new design features and structural changes so as to offer better comfort levels to our customers.

    ReplyDelete
  49. You have great ideas to share something like this. Thanks for share this info.

    norton.com/setup

    ReplyDelete
  50. Garmin.com/express - Garmin categorical may be a product that permits you to update and deals along with your Garmin gadgets. you'll update, edit, register your Garmin gadgets even as match up the knowledge with Garmin interface.

    ReplyDelete
  51. HP Printer Support Phone Number

    Brother Printer Support Phone Number

    Brother Printer Support Phone Number


    Lexmark Printer Support Phone Number
    Lexmark Printer Support Phone Number


    HP Printer Support phone Number
    HP Printer Support Phone Number


    Epson printer Support Phone Number
    Epson Printer Support Phone Number


    HP Printer Installation Help
    HP Printer Installation help

    ReplyDelete
  52. With the Lexmark printer, you can do large jobs quickly while managing several print outs. For reaching Lexmark printer customer service team dial the toll-free phone number and get connected with the technicians.

    Lexmark printer support number
    Brother printer support

    ReplyDelete
  53. This is very insightful post. I appreciate the knowledge you have. Thank you so much for sharing.
    Office.com/Setup

    ReplyDelete
  54. Thank you for sharing this useful information, I will regularly follow your blog
    Norton.com/setup
    Norton.com/nu16
    Norton.com/MyAccount

    ReplyDelete
  55. Get some simple actions for downloading easily, installing, activating, and re-installing the Microsoft Office suite at www.office.com/setup. Get the help of experts to create Office on different devices including, Office 2007, Office 2010, Office 2013, Office 2016, and Office 365. To avail services, visit office.com/setup.
    office home and student 2019office home and student 2019

    office setup

    ReplyDelete
  56. Get some simple actions for downloading easily, installing, activating, and re-installing the Microsoft Office suite at www.office.com/setup. Get the help of experts to create Office on different devices including, Office 2007, Office 2010, Office 2013, Office 2016, and Office 365. To avail services, visit office.com/setup.
    office 365 setup

    www.office.com/activation

    www.office.com/setup

    ReplyDelete
  57. Apart from its PC & Mobile based antivirus software, users can make their internet connection safer with Norton Antivirus at www.norton.com/setup
    for norton antivirus
    & install office office.com/setup
    365 or activate office
    365. Enter office Setup Product Key Here to Get Started with office Setup. We made the office Setup More Easier!

    ReplyDelete

  58. Apart from its PC & Mobile based antivirus software, users can make their internet connection safer with Norton Antivirus at www.norton.com/setup
    for norton antivirus Norton.com/nu16

    & install office office.com/setup
    365 or activate office
    365. Enter office Setup Product Key Here to Get Started with office Setup. We made the office Setup More Easier!
    Office Home and Student 2019 Setup

    ReplyDelete
  59. You have great ideas to share something like this.Thanks for share this info.
    mcafee.com/activate

    ReplyDelete
  60. Get protected enter your 25 digit activation code in www.mcafee.com/activateand activate your product key.
    To install your microsoft office setup visit www.office.com/setup and setup your office retail card key.
    Looking for Norton Setup? The Official Norton Site for setup, download, reinstall is www.norton.com/setup where you can enter and activate your norton setup retail card product key.

    ReplyDelete
  61. Instant Online Assignment Help With Upto 30% Off
    Budget friendly prices for Australian assignment help, US and UK. Just visit our site @GotoAssignmentHelp and place the order.
    What we got? 100% unique content, 100% satisfaction, ON time delivery, cheap rates and much more to offer for the students.
    Still searching? Grab the offers and best assignment help nz now.

    ReplyDelete
  62. Thanks for sharing the useful information. You have mentioned all essential points for getting Assignment Help easily. I had some doubts regarding academic writing services but now all are solved. I found this greatassignmenthelp site reliable and genuine to get assistance for my homework.
    Assignment Help Online
    Online Assignment Help
    Assignment Help Online Services
    Assignment Helper
    Assignment Assistance
    Assignment Help Experts
    Online Assignment Help Services
    Assignment Writing Help

    ReplyDelete