Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Spring Break?

Is it just me, or is the "break" part of spring break directed at teachers? I like to think of it as Spring It's-On!

We are out of town -- out of Chicago -- and in Los Angeles for the week. The good news is that I've found a kids club at a resort that allows non-guests to attend. The kids are there in the mornings from 9AM to 1PM. The other good news is that I have to stay on resort property while the kids are there. For a few hours every day, I get to soak in the ocean, the skies, the spa. It's nice. So I can't complain about that.

The hours from 1PM until 7PM are a different story. My nerves are on the fritz. I have been downing my acupuncturist's herbal prescription called "Free and Easy Wanderer -- PLUS" because the regular Free and Easy isn't strong enough. If this is what I'm like with Free and Easy, I don't want to know what I'm like without it!

I've had a lot of anger lately. Weird because I thought I did the whole anger thing once before. And anger is such a social no-no. Depression gets a lot of props and acceptance that it occurs. But anger? No. We're a country founded by Puritans, who probably liked to swallow a lot of their feelings.

I'm so angry, I want to scream, yell, and run nearly once a day. This isn't how spring break is supposed to feel! We're supposed to be this happy family with an occasional meltdown, but who generally enjoys exploring the sites. I need to let go of that image. It's so hard to let go. And part of me doesn't want to. I want to hold onto it and feel pissed that it's not happening to me!

I don't know. I think my last post was an angry one, too. I'm still mad, I guess. The good news is that after anger, I get to continue cycling around the never-ending process of grief. Up next: depression. That should be uplifting. Somebody get me off this ride!