Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Spring Break?

Is it just me, or is the "break" part of spring break directed at teachers? I like to think of it as Spring It's-On!

We are out of town -- out of Chicago -- and in Los Angeles for the week. The good news is that I've found a kids club at a resort that allows non-guests to attend. The kids are there in the mornings from 9AM to 1PM. The other good news is that I have to stay on resort property while the kids are there. For a few hours every day, I get to soak in the ocean, the skies, the spa. It's nice. So I can't complain about that.

The hours from 1PM until 7PM are a different story. My nerves are on the fritz. I have been downing my acupuncturist's herbal prescription called "Free and Easy Wanderer -- PLUS" because the regular Free and Easy isn't strong enough. If this is what I'm like with Free and Easy, I don't want to know what I'm like without it!

I've had a lot of anger lately. Weird because I thought I did the whole anger thing once before. And anger is such a social no-no. Depression gets a lot of props and acceptance that it occurs. But anger? No. We're a country founded by Puritans, who probably liked to swallow a lot of their feelings.

I'm so angry, I want to scream, yell, and run nearly once a day. This isn't how spring break is supposed to feel! We're supposed to be this happy family with an occasional meltdown, but who generally enjoys exploring the sites. I need to let go of that image. It's so hard to let go. And part of me doesn't want to. I want to hold onto it and feel pissed that it's not happening to me!

I don't know. I think my last post was an angry one, too. I'm still mad, I guess. The good news is that after anger, I get to continue cycling around the never-ending process of grief. Up next: depression. That should be uplifting. Somebody get me off this ride!


  1. Some have described depression (Hillman, "A Blue Flame") as anger turned inward. Maybe it's quite useful to send it the other way!

  2. I'm sorry hon. That cycle is rough and miserable. I wish you were getting more of a break right now.

  3. Right there with you - minus the resort and spa.

    I am sharing this testimony for my daughter who suffered autism for 7 years. I am doing this, because I was her mother and caregiver  during her dark days and am very happy to share it so that others can be helped through  DR WILLIAMS HERBAL MEDICINE. It was a tough a battle for her; I was not actually the one who hard autism, but bearing the burden makes me understand what parents whose children and love with autism go through.
    Lesia now 19 and was diagnosed with autism at the age of twelve, for seven years, she fought against her diagnosis. I must admit it was never easy for us as a family; we had to constantly watch her, and answer questions that we couldn’t explain. On several occasions, she asked if she will ever stop having speech delay and get well like her school mates and be the best swimmer she dreamt of becoming. She was a very happy child; and had a ‘normal’ childhood and there was no suggestion that she would later on develop autism. 
    She refused to accept defeat and fought autism. She religiously kept to her medications in spite of their side effects. We all wanted a cure, so that she can chase her dream and live a normal life like every other child. But the more she takes these medications, the more her school grade drop. She couldn’t concentrate and we noticed that her memory was being severely adversely affected. Each time we went back to the hospital, her medicines were changed to a different one. Seems like, each change of drug brings about change in side effects. After about 6 years on   Abilify ,  Geodon  , and other medicines, it seemed the autism started to increase in frequency. I had to make effort to reduce her medicines with plans to eventually stop it all. We found an alternative treatment in homeopathy, which was better than her English drugs. Gradually, I reduced her drugs, and her autism were no longer as frequent as it was as when she was on conventional drugs.
    With our little breakthrough with homeopathy treatment, we made further search for natural cure. Fortunately we saw testimonies about herbal medicines which cure autism. We saw a lot of claims though, contacted them and didn’t get a useful reply. Lucky for us, we finally got a reply from Doctor Williams, he directed us to his blog where we saw a lot of information about his herbal medicine . Without further delay I made a purchase for her, I switched her over to it. We had great breakthrough, that in 3 weeks, her autism reduced. After 1 months as Doctor Williams promised , all autism symptoms stopped. It was like a miracle for us. since all this days now Lesia became autism free. Her story is quite lengthy, I hope it also help someone out there.for more information you can email Dr Williams on