Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Smile

As I paused to review how many gray hairs were standing straight up off my head in the mirror, I asked myself, “Who is this faded version of my former self? When the hell did you stop smiling? When did you let the unhappiness creep in?”

So, I smiled at myself, and guess what happened.

I walked out of the room, and smiled at both of my girls, who smiled in response.

“Hey Mom! Why are you so happy?” Meghan inquired.

I responded, “Because here you are in the middle of this messy room, playing Little Ponies and Barbies. Because Gracie is reading a chapter book all by herself over there. Because, neither one of you beautiful miracles were guaranteed to live. Because I can’t believe you’ve grown so much, and time is flying by. Because I'm your mommy.”

With a puzzled look upon her face, Megs replied, “Oh. I know I’m a miracle Mommy. I almost died a bunch of times when I was teeny, tiny preemie.”

It was almost as if she was telling me, “Duh! This isn’t news. Get with the program, Mom! We’re not preemies anymore.”

I giggled a little as Gracie lifted her head away from her book, and said, “Huh?”

Here I was having a deeply profound moment of life analysis, and my Gracie was safely soaking in the world of Junie B. Jones.

It was a 30-second moment of time that reached out and grabbed me. It said, "Pay attention! Keep being their special needs advocate, but they are happy and secure. Oh, and, remember what you learned when you were a kid:

Play.

Laugh.

Learn.

Giggle.

Smile.

Enjoy."

If I can do this even for a few minutes each day, the happiness will slowly soak back into my every day.

So do me a favor, please.

Smile at yourself in the mirror, and then pay it forward. I’m already amazed at how much better I feel.

How about you? Ever have one of those moments?

10 comments:

  1. You know, I had a moment like this last night. I received an email from a woman I used to work with 15 yrs ago. She wasn't sure if she had the right email so wrote " you wouldn't happen to be the really nice and funny girl I used to work with?"
    Really nice and funny? Gad, don't you mean really crabby and sarcastic?
    You are absolutely right. Just because we need to advocate doesn't mean we need to be in fight mode all the time. It is definitely time for some laughing and playing.
    keep smiling,
    Jasmin

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks so much for this post. It really put a smile on my face - you're absolutely right!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thanks! I really needed to hear this today.
    I promise to give myself a big toothy grin at some point today!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thank you for sharing this with us. I sometimes wonder who that woman is in the mirror. How did I get so gray? I know where the lines in my face came from. But I don't notice if I'm smiling or not, and it's a good reminder to try to pay attention. It's contagious, whether we are smiling or gritting our teeth.

    ReplyDelete