Monday, February 1, 2016

How Collaborative & Proactive Solutions Can Help Family Caregivers




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In my last blog I briefly mentioned Ross Greene’s work on Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (formerly Collaborative Problem Solving.)  Find out how to use CPS with your child and how this can help your family as a whole. 

What it is

 Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS) means just that – working together to solve problems.  Parents can partner with their children to prioritize issues to address.  This means that parents get input from the child and the child feels part of the process.  The child can assist in identification of the problem as well as help come up with possible solutions.
 
                                             Developed by Ross Greene
 
How it works
 
CPS is a matter of prioritization.  Even though family caregivers may feel like there are many issues to be addressed, they can’t work on everything at once.  Issues involving safety and health, for example, running out into the street, need to be addressed first.  Steps to using CPS include:
1.       Empathy (plus reassurance)
2.      Define the Problem
3.      Invitation
 
A simple example (adapted from NAMI Basics-see Resources) could be when the child leaves a mess after eating. 
 
Step 1 Empathy:
Parent:  “Most times you do clean up and I am very grateful when you do.  I will try harder to mention those times to you.”
 
Step 2 Define the Problem:
Parent:  “Ok, I understand that sometimes we all forget.  My concern is that we have an ant problem in the house and I worry this will get worse.”
 
Step 3 Invitation:
Parent:  “What can we do to help you remember to clean up?”
 
Then brainstorm on possible solutions like putting up a sign, and if the child agrees, problem solved!  Together, discuss all possible solutions and why they will or won’t work. 
 
 
Why it works
 
Dr. Greene believes that “children will do well if they can.”  This means that your child is doing the best s/he can with the skills s/he has.  Sometimes it’s not a matter of compliance, but a skills issue.  This means that the child simply doesn’t have the skills needed yet.  Again, it is important that parents recognize that all behavior is communication and sometimes the only way children can communicate is by acting out.  The overwhelmed or nonverbal child may only be able to cry or scream or run away from a situation that is too much for him/her.  The key is to teach appropriate replacement behaviors and effective communication skills.  By involving the child in working on this together, the child will “buy into” problem solving since s/he will have a choice about what to work on and how to fix it.
 
CPS will help family caregivers to “pick their battles” and let the rest go until the larger issues are resolved.  For more detailed information, see the one page factsheet at http://www.livesinthebalance.org/sites/default/files/One%20Page%20CPS%2011-12-12_3.pdf
 
Resources
 
Ross Greene’s website including books “The Explosive Child” and “Lost at School”


National Alliance on Mental Illness-Basics classes for families


 
Remain Hopeful,

Lauren

 
Lauren Agoratus is a parent/advocate who works for the Statewide Parent Advocacy Network and serves as the NJ Coordinator for Family Voices (www.spanadvocacy.org), a national network that works to “keep families at the center of children’s healthcare” at www.familyvoices.org or FB www.facebook.com/pages/Family-Voices-Inc-National/137783182902269.  She also serves as NJ representative supporting caregivers across the lifespan for the Caregiver Action Network (formerly National Family Caregivers Association) in a volunteer capacity at http://caregiveraction.org/ or FB www.facebook.com/CaregiverActionNetwork.

22 comments:

  1. How to Get Your Ex Back After a Breakup or Divorce.! Am giving this testimony cos am so happy, I want to thank Dr Frank Ojo for the great thing he has done in my life , he brought happiness to my life .! A very big problem occurred in my Marriage seven months ago,between me and my husband .so terrible that he took the case to court for a divorce. he said that he never wanted to stay with me again,and that he didn't love me anymore.So he packed out of the house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get him back,after much begging,but all to no avail.and he confirmed it that he has made his decision,and he never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my husband .So i explained every thing to him,so he told me that the only way i can get my husband back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for him too.So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow his advice. Then he gave me the email address of the spell caster whom he visited. TEMPLEOFLOVEANDPROSPERITY@GMAIL.COM. So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address he gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my husband back the next day. What an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me, and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my husband who didn't call me for the past 7 months, gave me a call to inform me that he was coming back. So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster. So, i will advice you out there if you have any problem contact Dr Frank Ojo, i give you 100% guarantee that he will help you.. Email him at: Templeofloveandprosperity@gmail.com . My name is Amanda Bryan, me & my family live in Toronto, Canada. Thanks for reading, and best of luck!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I had a problem with my girlfriend six months ago,which lead us apart. When she broke up with me,I was no longer myself,I fill so empty inside.And i dont know what to do,I feel my life has come to an end because she was my first love.I went for counselling and advice online and i saw so many good comment about a spell caster on how he help them to solve their relationship and marriage issues.I email the spell caster on the email which was provided in the comments on (relationshipspell@gmail.com) and I told him my problem and I did what he asked me to briefly make the long story short, Before I knew what happened,after 48 hours,my girlfriend gave me a call and she came back to me and told me she was sorry about what happen and beg for forgiveness, I’m so grateful to these spell caster and i will not stop publishing his name on the internet just for the good work he did for me.If you need his help,you can email him at RELATIONSHIPSPELL@GMAIL.COM I will forever be grateful to him.He is the perfect solution to relationship and marriage issues.

      Delete

    2. This is my testimony about the marvellous work Dr Kasee did for me. My husband abandon me and the kids and went to stay with another woman who he just met. And the woman did spell on him so that he will never have nothing to do with me and my kids for that, my self and the kids has been suffering and it has been hell of a struggle, but I decide to do all means to make sure that my family come together as it use to, then I went on-line there I saw so many good talk about this spell caster called Dr Kasee of (onimalovespell@gmail.com) so I had to contact him and explain my problem to him and in just 24hours as he has promised, my husband came home and his behavior was back to the man i got married to. I cant thank the spell caster enough for what he did for me, i am so grateful and i will never stop to publish his name on the internet for the good work he has done for me,once again here is his contact email ONIMALOVESPELL@GMAIL.COM . You can contact him for any kind of problem i know he is there to help you.

      Delete
    3. I am Nancy Fay Bell from FLORIDA, When I eventually found testimonies about this spell caster Dr.Trust, how he helped many people to get their lovers and broken homes back, i contacted him through because I was absolutely desperate to get my husband back. Life without my husband was a real mess for me and my children. i wanted a dramatic change and I thought love spell could be the solution. After discussing the resolution with Dr Trust, he gave me hope that he will restore my marriage. I felt confident that he will actually make my husband to return home and he did! It’s fantastic what this great spell caster have done for me, his help is priceless! I don't know what I would have done without Dr.Trust, He does his job so well he is organized and highly functional, i believe he is the best spell caster i can count on when it comes to all kinds of spell, I was floored that his spells worked, if you need help, contact him on ultimatespellcast@gmail.com or Ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com website http://ultimatespellcast8.wix.com/ultimatespellcast or call +2348156885231

      Delete
  2. Hi, I'm very excited sharing this amazing testimony about Dr Frank Ojo a spell caster who save my marriage and brought my husband back to me today.! A very big problem occurred in my Marriage seven months ago, between me and my husband . so terrible that he took the case to court for a divorce. he said that he never wanted to stay with me again,and that he didn't love me anymore.So he packed out of the house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get him back,after much begging,but all to no avail.and he confirmed it that he has made his decision,and he never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my husband .So i explained every thing to him,so he told me that the only way i can get my husband back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for him too.So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow his advice. Then he gave me the email address of the spell caster whom he visited. TEMPLEOFLOVEANDPROSPERITY@GMAIL.COM. So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address he gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my husband back the next day. What an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me, and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my husband who didn't call me for the past 7 months, gave me a call to inform me that he was coming back. So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster. So, i will advice you out there if you have any problem contact Dr Frank Ojo, i give you 100% guarantee that he will help you.. Email him at: Templeofloveandprosperity@gmail.com .Name: Amanda Bryan, From: UK . Thanks for reading .

    ReplyDelete
  3. I was hurt and heart broken by my wife!

    My wife is back after separation. thanks to Dr Frank Ojo for bringing back my wife,and brought great joy to my family once again. My wife and I separated 4 months ago and our children, Emily and Robert, live with her in London, but see me every weekend i needed my wife and children back home, I was totally devastated and confused and did not know how to bring them back home because i have tried all my possible best all to no avail, until an old friend of mine told me about a spell caster on the internet called Dr Frank Ojo who help people with their relationship and marriage problem by the powers of love spells, at first I doubted if such thing ever exists but decided to give it a try, when I contacted him i told him everything and he told me that everything will be fine that my family are going to come back to me, all he said i will do is for me to provide the money for him to buy the items and i did and he told me that he is going to cast the spell, he helped me cast a spell and within 48hours my wife came back to me and started apologizing, now she has stopped going out with men and she is with me for good and for real. you can Contact him on { Templeofloveandprosperity@gmail.com } he is genuine. If you have any problem contact Dr Frank Ojo he is real and always ready to solve your problem , E-mail: Templeofloveandprosperity@gmail.com or visit his Web site to know more about him: http://africatemple.yolasite.com.

    ReplyDelete
  4. My life became devastated when my husband sent me packing, after 8 years that we have been together. I was lost and helpless after trying so many ways to make my husband take me back. One day at work, i was absent minded not knowing that my boss was calling me, so he sat and asked me what its was all about i told him and he smiled and said that it was not a problem. I never understand what he meant by it wasn't a problem getting my husband back, he said he used a spell to get his wife back when she left him for another man and now they are together till date and at first i was shocked hearing such thing from my boss. He gave me an email address of the great spell caster who helped him get his wife back, i never believed this would work but i had no choice that to get in contact with the spell caster which i did, and he requested for my information and that of my husband to enable him cast the spell and i sent him the details, but after two days, my mom called me that my husband came pleading that he wants me back, i never believed it because it was just like a dream and i had to rush down to my mothers place and to my greatest surprise, my husband was kneeling before me pleading for forgiveness that he wants me and the kid back home, then i gave Happy a call regarding sudden change of my husband and he made it clear to me that my husband will love me till the end of the world, that he will never leave my sight. Now me and my husband is back together again and has started doing pleasant things he hasn't done before, he makes me happy and do what he is suppose to do as a man without nagging. Please if you need help of any kind, kindly contact Happy for help and you can reach him via email: happylovespell2@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  5. I had a problem with my girlfriend six months ago,which lead us apart. When she broke up with me,I was no longer myself,I fill so empty inside.And i dont know what to do,I feel my life has come to an end because she was my first love.I went for counselling and advice online and i saw so many good comment about a spell caster on how he help them to solve their relationship and marriage issues.I email the spell caster on the email which was provided in the comments on (relationshipspell@gmail.com) and I told him my problem and I did what he asked me to briefly make the long story short, Before I knew what happened,after 48 hours,my girlfriend gave me a call and she came back to me and told me she was sorry about what happen and beg for forgiveness, I’m so grateful to these spell caster and i will not stop publishing his name on the internet just for the good work he did for me.If you need his help,you can email him at RELATIONSHIPSPELL@GMAIL.COM I will forever be grateful to him.He is the perfect solution to relationship and marriage issues.

    ReplyDelete
  6. How to stop your break up or divorce and win back your lost love... right now...no matter how hopeless your situation seems... read my testimony.. I was hurt and heart broken when a very big problem occurred in my marriage seven months ago, between me and my husband . so terrible that he took the case to court for a divorce. he said that he never wanted to stay with me again,and that he didn't love me anymore.So he packed out of the house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get him back,after much begging,but all to no avail.and he confirmed it that he has made his decision,and he never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my husband .So i explained every thing to him,so he told me that the only way i can get my husband back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for him too.So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow his advice. Then he gave me the Email address of the spell caster whom he visited. Templeofloveandprosperity@gmail.com . So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address he gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my husband back the next day. What an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me, and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my husband who didn't call me for the past 7 months, gave me a call to inform me that he was coming back. So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster. So, i will advice you out there if you have any problem contact Dr Frank Ojo, i give you 100% guarantee that he will help you.. Email him at: Templeofloveandprosperity@gmail.com ,or visit his Web site to know more about him: http://africatemple.yolasite.com , Name: Wendy Owen , From:UK. Thank you sooooo much!!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. My life became devastated when my husband sent me packing, after 8 years that we have been together. I was lost and helpless after trying so many ways to make my husband take me back. One day at work, i was absent minded not knowing that my boss was calling me, so he sat and asked me what its was all about i told him and he smiled and said that it was not a problem. I never understand what he meant by it wasn't a problem getting my husband back, he said he used a spell to get his wife back when she left him for another man and now they are together till date and at first i was shocked hearing such thing from my boss. He gave me an email address of the great spell caster who helped him get his wife back, i never believed this would work but i had no choice that to get in contact with the spell caster which i did, and he requested for my information and that of my husband to enable him cast the spell and i sent him the details, but after two days, my mom called me that my husband came pleading that he wants me back, i never believed it because it was just like a dream and i had to rush down to my mothers place and to my greatest surprise, my husband was kneeling before me pleading for forgiveness that he wants me and the kid back home, then i gave Happy a call regarding sudden change of my husband and he made it clear to me that my husband will love me till the end of the world, that he will never leave my sight. Now me and my husband is back together again and has started doing pleasant things he hasn't done before, he makes me happy and do what he is suppose to do as a man without nagging. Please if you need help of any kind, kindly contact Happy for help and you can reach him via email: happylovespell2@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  8. My husband and I have been married for about 7 yrs now. We were happily married with two kids, a boy and a girl. 3 months ago, I started to notice some strange behavior from him and a few weeks later I found out that my husband is seeing someone. He started coming home late from work, he hardly care about me or the kids anymore, Sometimes he goes out and doesn't even come back home for about 2-3 days. I did all I could to rectify this problem but all to no avail. I became very worried and needed help. As I was browsing through the internet one day, I came across a website that suggested that Dr Unity can help solve marital problems, restore broken relationships and so on. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he did a spell for me. Three days later, my husband came to me and apologized for the wrongs he did and promise never to do it again. Ever since then, everything has returned back to normal. I and my family are living together happily again.. All thanks to Dr Unity . If you need a spell caster that can cast a spell that truly works, I suggest you contact him. He will not disappoint you. This is his E-mail: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com .

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hi. am 29years old and I was with my ex for 4years after a year of being together we moved in with eachother with my daughter who calls my ex daddy our relationship was great living apart but once we moved in with eachother the arguments started and my trust issues. I always use to get funny about him going down the pub with his mates while im at home and we then ended up falling out and he would be gone all night and come in at like 2-3am drunk. I also use to get funny about him going away on holiday with his mates every year. I know him breaking up with me was my fault but not sure why he broke up with me anyway money was getting tight living together so we decided to move out and he go back to his mums and I get a place for me and my daughter we argued alot at that point because of the stress trying to findX somewhere to live he said he wanted to go on a months break after moving out so we can clear our heads 5weeks into our break me text me saying we’re over I was really upset because I love him so much I was always texting him and ringing him saying I love him give me another chance then he blocked my number so I couldn’t contact him do then I message him on fb asking about my daughter as she was going on about how she doesn’t understand why she’s nit seeing daddy anymore he replies with contact me once your over me and I will have contact with your daughter.so I left it a week and even though im not over him still till this day I messaged him saying I was over him so he replies with im glad to hear your over me we will arrange something for me to see your daughter. I still love him and I wanted him back i told my sister about it and she introduced me to the Famous spell caster, who helps in so many ways.i contacted her and she did her thing,before i knew it,the next day mike called me and apologized that he was sorry for everything and im sure he will never leave me again. i am so happy now,you can also get in touch with pristess iyawo on her site pristessiyawospellmiracletemple.webs.com or her email on pristessiyawospelltemple124@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete

  10. This is my testimony about the marvellous work Dr Kasee did for me. My husband abandon me and the kids and went to stay with another woman who he just met. And the woman did spell on him so that he will never have nothing to do with me and my kids for that, my self and the kids has been suffering and it has been hell of a struggle, but I decide to do all means to make sure that my family come together as it use to, then I went on-line there I saw so many good talk about this spell caster called Dr Kasee of (onimalovespell@gmail.com) so I had to contact him and explain my problem to him and in just 24hours as he has promised, my husband came home and his behavior was back to the man i got married to. I cant thank the spell caster enough for what he did for me, i am so grateful and i will never stop to publish his name on the internet for the good work he has done for me,once again here is his contact email ONIMALOVESPELL@GMAIL.COM . You can contact him for any kind of problem i know he is there to help you.

    ReplyDelete

  11. How i got my husband back
    I want to say a big thanks to the man who is behind my smiles today by reuniting me and my Husband after he divorced me, Dr Osato who is a very powerful spell caster brought my husband back to me and made him beg me to forgive him for everything he did to me, i really missed him so much and always loved him. Am happy to have him back in my life and all my appreciations goes to Dr Osato for helping me and bringing my husband back to my life with his great powers. My friends out there who are going through marriage problems and divorce issues i assure you that you can get your lover back to your life with the help of Dr Osato. You can reach him on: (relationshipspell@gmail.com). He has the perfect solutions to relationship issues.

    ReplyDelete
  12. How this great man helped me to bring back my lover within 24hours,my lover who broke up with me since last three year,i love him so much that any time i see him with another girl i will be angry,so one day i was going through the internet when i saw a testimony of a woman how this great man name dr Onima helped her to get back with her husband, so lucky for me he dropped the contact of the man,so i quickly called the number he did not pick i emailed him after about 4hours time he called me back and he replied my email,i filled the form and he told me everything about me and my lover i was surprise so he told that he need some items to do the prayers for me,which i sent him the money to get and that was the only money he collected from me,within 24hours my lover came back to me pleading to me asking for forgiveness,he now love me, cherish me and he promise that he will never leave me again all thanks to dr Onima,you can also call +2348144828157 or email onimatempleofsolution1@hotmail.com for help,

    ReplyDelete
  13. I am Nancy Fay Bell from FLORIDA, When I eventually found testimonies about this spell caster Dr.Trust, how he helped many people to get their lovers and broken homes back, i contacted him through because I was absolutely desperate to get my husband back. Life without my husband was a real mess for me and my children. i wanted a dramatic change and I thought love spell could be the solution. After discussing the resolution with Dr Trust, he gave me hope that he will restore my marriage. I felt confident that he will actually make my husband to return home and he did! It’s fantastic what this great spell caster have done for me, his help is priceless! I don't know what I would have done without Dr.Trust, He does his job so well he is organized and highly functional, i believe he is the best spell caster i can count on when it comes to all kinds of spell, I was floored that his spells worked, if you need help, contact him on ultimatespellcast@gmail.com or Ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com website http://ultimatespellcast8.wix.com/ultimatespellcast or call +2348156885231

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hello to the people of this forum< Am chizzy from Texas and i can say that am the happiest person on earth since last week with what DR UKO has done for me , it all started last year October when my fiance left me in Texas and travel to see his parents in Ohio at first him was still calling me and show love even when him was away , but it gets to a point when he no longer gives a shit about me , and i noticed it so when i tried to confront him , he told me that he dose not love me again that he feel like being alone i was shocked and heartbroken when i tried talking he will hang the phone on me i was so heart broken and i was frustrated about this , but on a second thought i was not convince that he was on his right senses so i discuss this with my elder sister who lives in California and she directed me to DR UKO of ukospelltemple@yahoo.com saying that the man has helped her friend in such case before so i said to my self let me tried i contacted this man and explain everything to him and behold dr uko said to me what am to do and i did exactly what he and he said after three days my fiance will call me and once he calls me i should pick the calls and he gave some other instructions . so i said okay , but to my best surprise on the 7th of November my fiancee called me and started saying on the phone am sorry it was like a dream to me , with this i said i will tell the world of his dr UKO goodness in my life , so if any one is out there and needs help in his or her relationship can also contact him today via

    email ukospelltemple@yahoo.com or whatsapp him on ; +2347064650019

    ReplyDelete
  15. BEST AND GENUINE SPELL CASTER ONLINE TO HELP SAVE BROKEN MARRIAGE AND BROKEN RELATIONSHIP
    Am Jerry miler, I live in London, and I’m happily married with a lovely wife and three children. I had a very big problem with my wife few months ago, to the extent that she left the house with our kids to her parents' for almost 5 months. All efforts to bring them back proved abortive. Friends and Family were all in concern and my very close mate gave me an advice concerning a spell caster, and he quote; “There’s someone who can handle your situation, he’s always ready and able to do anything related to spiritual matters, I searched for a spell caster on the internet, his advert was everywhere, i found his number and called him on his mobile number +2347052958531. Although I never believed in spell casting, but he convinced me and I had no choice than to follow his advice, because I never dream of losing my lovely wife and I was desperate. So I did all what he told me to do and i did. He told me that I’ll get my wife back in two days after the spell is completed. I was skeptical. He casted the spell for me and i was so anxious waiting to see or hear from her, until the second day when my wife called and said she was coming HOME…..It was like a joke to me!!! That’s how I got my family back through spiritual means and our relationship is now stronger than ever. One of the price I was asked to pay was to tell it to people around me that problems like this, can always be solved by Dr Ewan. And this is his email too if you wish to contact him and solve your problem too covenantsolutiontemple@gmail.com , my advice to you out there is to visit this great Dr Ewan and tell him your problems. He's capable of handling anything spiritual and spell casting. Thanks a lot for saving my marriage. covenantsolutiontemple@gmail.com. You can also add him up on watsapp on +2349057353987, you can also call him on his mobile number +2347052958531

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  16. My name is Tanya I can't explain this but I just have to share my joy and happiness with the world I don't know how Dr Ekpiku helped me in bringing back my husband. I have been frustrated for the past 2 years with my two kids living without my husband who surprisingly left home with a girl named Rose. One faithful day a friend of mine came visiting and I told her about the situation I am in for the past two years, she then told me about Dr Ekpiku that he is a very powerful man, at first I never wanted to believe her because I have spent a lot going to different places but she convinced me, so I had no choice because I really need my husband back. So we contacted Dr Ekpiku who told me all I needed to do which I doubted. But the greatest joy in me today is that Dr Ekpiku was able to bring my husband back to me and now we are living happily as never before. Thanks to you Dr Ekpiku If you have problems of any kind I will advise you to contact him on his private email… ekpikuspelltemple@live.com.

    ReplyDelete