Monday, November 11, 2013

The awakening

" The child passes little by little from the unconscious to the conscious, treading always in the paths of joy and love" -Maria Montessori

I love the stories and folk tales from different cultures.  Many speak of a time when people were asleep and enchanted and mythical creatures roamed.  When the time came we awakened.  We had always existed and would continue to exist, but our bodies and minds lay dormant.

When we brought our daughter home I felt like she dwelled in this dream time place.  She was happy and content to be in the embryonic state and to let us live life around her.  She would sit for hours if you would let her in a patch of sunshine watching the world go by.  Content to be a bystander. Content to be dormant.

Many special needs parents have children that dwell in the dream lands.  We do anything we can to coax, guide, and flat out drag them kicking and screaming into humanity.  We feel that they are missing so much, the joys and try to force them into something they are not ready for.  I tried to force my daughter out so many times that she began to flee to the dream land.  She fled from everything I tried to do and hid further and further in the shadows.

So I stopped and stepped back.  It was hard for me to do.  I am not by nature a patient person.  But I wanted Cary Lynn to come out on her own terms.  And she did.

I can't tell you exactly when it started happening.  Was it when she realized she could push a switch and get her needs met?  Was it when she understood that by moving her left hand at a certain angle that she could hit shiny red bells?
Was it when she sat in her chair and signed music and I sang to her and then she signed more?  Or was it when her vision teacher brought over all sorts of new playthings that Cary has now spent several hours of untiring exploration?
I don't know when it exactly happened or how, I just know that it has.  My daughter is awake.  She is interacting with her world.  Movements that were jerky or reflexy are becoming purposeful.  She is exploring, thinking, and laughing.

We are starting a new path and beginning a new journey.  I have no idea where we will go, but I am excited and ready for the adventure.   My daughter has left the dream land.  And life will never be the same.

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I am an adoptive mom, advocate, and teacher.  You can find me at my blog Many Kinds of Families