Saturday, May 18, 2013

Here's to the Dads

Today is my husband's birthday. You know him as "STM" on my blog and as "Ed" in my book. Around here he has any number of nicknames, too, I can't remember the last time I called him by his rightful name. Wil, our son, however, does call him his first name. Not sure when Wil made the conversion exactly, but it's been at least a couple of years. He calls his dad by his name, and he calls me "Care." While others might find this disrespectful, we do not. Of all the things on the long and getting longer To Worry About List, this does not even show up at the bottom.

I think it's only appropriate to stop regularly scheduled blogging to give a shout out to my husband, Wil's dad, and all the other partners and co-parents out there. While enough has been made of what being a special-needs mom has entailed for me, not enough has been made of the sacrifices, strain, stress, and significance to the often times unsung heros, the dads.

It can't be easy having 100% of the financial burden fall to my husband. Right about the time Wil started getting expensive, I quit my job.

It can't be easy having your wife go from hanging on your every word to not having time or energy to give you for weeks, months, or even years on end.

It can't be easy re-arranging your work schedule to be at doctor appointments, come home early so your wife can go out with friends, and at times be the full-time parent while your wife leaves town to gather herself.

It can't be easy to have dreams of what being a dad will be like, and then to accept that those dreams just ain't ever going to happen, despite your creative ways around the circumstances.

It can't be easy being a man and listening to most other men talk about their kids' sports, driver's licenses and plans for college.

It can't be easy.


But nobody can share the joys, successes, accomplishments and just how far we've come, either, quite like the one you've been on this journey with from the beginning.

And will be to the end.

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Carrie is a parent and advocate of a child with special needs and even more special gifts. She blogs at where this is pretty much her favorite topic. Carrie’s book, WIL OF GOD: Embracing the Relentless Love of a Special Child, is available in print on Amazon and all e-readers.