We laughed.

We were at dinner at the round section at the end of our counter that seats four perfection, as we do most nights and we laughed. It wasn't at anything in particular, really, not this night, anyway. It struck me that every once in a while when we're laughing I forget for a split second that there was a time when there was no joy in our house.

Three years ago our son became stable, both medically and emotionally. He'd suffered for a few years before that with a depression so great it almost swallowed the entire family whole. My son had wanted to die.

Those were dark, dark times.

But then they weren't. While things aren't perfect, I'm starting to remember what it is like for our son to laugh for periods of time. Weeks straight, even. It was over dinner the other night we were joking and my son made a joke about himself and how his sister was in the clear with a lot because he did some things that were so much worse than she could ever do. It was actually a kind thing to say to her because he did it with humor.

Humor.

I'm fairly certain that the humor is what saved me from living inside my head all those many horrific months and it's what has continually helped bring me out of my own darkness parenting a child who wanted to end their life.

Humor allows us to process the hard stuff, still, years later.
Humor allowed us connection as a famly and still does.
Humor allows us the phycial act of laughter.
Humor allows us to see the joy.
Humor allows us inside jokes, enriching our conneciton as a family.
Humor brought us back together.
Humor saved us.

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Julia blogs at Kidneys and Eyes and is co-founder at Support for Special Needs. She owns a traditional marketing firm with her husband (yeah, don't do that unless you really, really like your spouse), writes and speaks on various topics around special needs and the healthcare system. She's addicited to Diet Coke.