Now imagine the same scene but the light is on. You can see everything clearly. You find the couch, sit down, and manage not to come home looking like you and the furniture got into a street brawl. When the lights are on you can see what is there and how to work with it.
I would use the above description a lot back in my teacher days. Especially when a child with special needs came my way. I would encourage parents to seek answers so I could be the best teacher I could be for them. Some colleges would argue that in looking for answers a child could become nothing more than a label or a diagnosis. I would argue back that this would give me the tools that I needed to empower the child and help them succeed.
But what if you are not the teacher? What if you are the parent? For Cary Lynn her diagnoses were always pretty black and white. There haven't been many surprises with them. I don't define her by her needs, but work with her daily to be her best little person. The lights are on and I don't run into too much furniture.
With Marvin it is so different. All I got was "love him and he will be honky dorey". Yay! Nobody told me what meth can do. Nobody told me about Shaken Baby Syndrome. Nobody told me that taking an 18 month old out of a secure environment can wreak havoc and leave scars that last a lifetime. Nobody told me that even if you are a violently abused infant that you don't outgrow and forget these things.
Don't get me wrong. I did the research. I sat with his social worker, my notebook of statistics and facts. She was impressed. I really did my work. Or so I thought. When Marvin came to us the lights in my house went out. I tripped over so much furniture and banged my shins over and over again.
What has made it super hard is that years later I am still in the dark. I find myself frustrated at times. People saying he has this, or wait no he doesn't! As I was talking to his therapist the other week about it he pointed out that kids like Marvin slip through the cracks so often because they can present pretty normally to the outside world. And he can. He is also a master chameleon, blending into his environment. He had to be. When he was little his survival depended on it.
Plus I am part of a new generation. Raising a child who was born meth addicted. I talk with other meth moms a lot and together we find solace. We see our kids and the things they struggle with. As one mom put it, "I tried to kill the best part of myself and nearly did. When I see her struggle part of me breaks every time." We break for our kids.
It also becomes hard explaining to the world around me about his needs. Everyone wants him to be "fine". Heck, I want him to be fine! I would love to live in a world without specialty doctors, therapies, and a home routine that is so heavily structured. I become frustrated at times just wishing for him to "snap out of it".
But that isn't going to happen. Marvin can't help the meth or the abuse he endured. He is always going to have needs. Needs that others may not always understand or see but they are there. He may also always live in the shades of grey when it comes to diagnoses as well. Or he will fall into broad categories like traumatic brain injury and ADHD.
Amy Fields is a mother to two special needs children and two demanding cats! You can follow her on Many Kinds of Familes
Great tutorial, I have been wanting to make our own!
ReplyDeletefive nights at freddy’s
Awesome blog. I enjoyed reading your articles. This is truly a great read for me. I have bookmarked it and I am looking forward to reading new articles. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteCustom essay writing service reviews
The first tip to avoid bad credit is to use loan funds only for something important and crucial. Gadai BPKB So before actually applying for this loan you should ask yourself if you really need the funds? Gadai BPKB If the loan fund is liquid what are the main needs that you will meet? Are your needs consumptive? Or is it for business capital and something productive? Or is there a sick family and need emergency funds?
ReplyDeleteThese questions are very Gadai BPKB important to do so you can borrow with a sense of security and comfort without any worries of having bad credit. After you consider the reason you are applying for this money loan and indeed the situation is important and crucial, Gadai BPKB then your choice to make a motorbike BPKB loan to get the loan funds is already right and you can immediately submit.
The name credit loan loan means you should be able to pay installments or installments every Gadai BPKB Mobil Motor month. Well this is where you as a debtor should menyipakan funds this installment well. If you have savings or deposits it will be better Jaminan Gadai BPKB Mobil Motor.
Because with this savings you will not be bothered again with this monthly expenditure. Gadai BPKB If you do not have savings or savings then you have to set aside some funds from your salary or income to pay the mortgage. You can put it aside in a separate envelope or wallet or put it into a separate account. Another thing to note is commitment. Gadai BPKB You have to commit whatever happens that the money you have set aside should be allocated for the payment of your credit installment Gadai BPKB Mobil Motor
Nox Player Latest Version 6.2.2.0 -How to Download for Windows Lucky Patcher Original APK 8.0.5 (Latest) How to Download for Android
ReplyDeleteI hope that your post will be noticed by many people because it brings a lot of information to everyone, I will share it with my friends, wish you success. I enjoyed it, thanks for posting it, I hope this post of yours will be more appreciated by it really excellent.
ReplyDeletefriv Games free 2019, jogo io 4 school, abcya3 games, cá koi mini
You can get your ex back and cure your infertility problems with Dr. Odunga.
ReplyDeleteWhen I met Dr. Odunga, my husband had divorced me because I was a barren woman of 41 and I have been married for 21 years. I was devastated and confused as a woman of my age until when I went online to look for help on how to get my marriage back then I met Dr. Odunga. Within 48 hours of contacting him, my ex husband came back home and pleaded for me to forgive him and take him back after 5 months of divorce. I accepted him back and then I told Dr. Odunga of my bareness for him to help me with child. He did the spell and sent me the natural herbs for fertility that I will use and immediately I used this medicine, I conceived. My husband got me pregnant and I gave birth to a baby girl. Presently, I am a mother of a beautiful girl and I am happy in my marriage. This is all thanks to Dr. Odunga and his wonderful work. Contact Dr. Odunga Via Whats App number +2348167159012. Email at: odungaspelltemple@gmail.com
Thank you very much for the information pleas visit . bankers lamp
ReplyDeletehappy wheels
Why do we have to spend money to buy things that are available and free? Sudoku 247 is a website that has a lot of games suitable for many ages. The best games are built with HTML, CSS, JS today. Here will bring you the most comfortable relaxing time and completely FREE for you!
ReplyDeleteThanks for such a useful material, I read it again and again and I enjoy reading it. - Powertrac Euro 60
ReplyDeleteI like your article, it is full of valuable information. Keep posting such articles.
ReplyDeleteAshok Leyland Dost Plus
Nice blog thanks for sharing it content is easy to understand
ReplyDeletePowertrac Euro 60 Price