However, as I settled my son into his plane seat and then plonked myself next to him, my thoughts flashed to the various comments and blog posts that I have been reading in the social media. The words that are being used day in, day out..... by the many adults in the autism community (and yes, some of those adults are autistic). They tell me that I must accept and embrace my son's autism. They yell that I shouldn't be looking for a cure. They proclaim their disgust at parents who want to try everything possible in order for their kids to live a better life. They cry that they would never want to take away their child's autism.
Well, I say to you.... Stop right now!
Don't stand in judgement of my choices. Don't tell me that I am a bad mother because I am intervening with my son's autism. You do not speak for my son. You do not speak for me. My boy finds it impossible to communicate. He has had years of therapy and he still can't construct a sentence on any AAC device. He is unable to go to a public toilet unattended. He can't go to a restaurant and independently choose his food and pay for it. Life is difficult for him at the best of times.
Do you even know how heart-sore I feel because my child is totally dependent on me and will remain so for the rest of his life? Do you realise that I adore my child with all of my being and that I would go to the end of the earth for him? Do you think about the possibility that his autism is not the autism that you know? Do you even have an answer for what is going to happen to him when I die? Do you understand that I accept my son for who he is, however, I also want him to have an easier life without restrictions? Yet, you still judge!
Therefore, I also say this....
I will listen to you and take what information is helpful for us... BUT, you do not speak for my son or for me.
So, stop right now!
Stop judging parents who are finding autism to be hard. Stop judging parents for choosing A, B or C. The road that we are on is a very long journey and we all reach our own brand of acceptance in our own time. Have respect for us. Be open minded and understand that we all need support regardless of what you think is right or wrong. Stop telling us what we should be or shouldn't be doing.
Stop right now ~ it is not YOUR journey!
I remain hopeful that one day we will come together as a community regardless of our beliefs.
Di has been an autism parent for over 14 years. She doesn't generally open her mouth and speak her mind (on a public forum!!), however, the closer she gets to 50, the less she cares!! ;)
Di blogs over at Bright Side of Life, where she is a lot less opinionated!