Saturday, January 21, 2012

Pediatric Mental Illness? It's Like This...

Pediatric mental illness is screaming and crying; raging and breaking things; cursing and swearing; ER trips and suicide attempts...

...and it is midnight visits from a 9-year-old who still knows how to fit into the curve I make in the bed just the way he did when he was a toddler. "Mommy, I'm so glad you're the one who's my mom."

Pediatric mental illness is causing my marriage to become frayed and tattered by constant, unrelenting stress punctuated by terror...

...and it has also bound me to my husband and him to me with the strength of carbon steel forged by fire.

Pediatric mental illness is the cause of our deprivation due to living on one income: no vacations, no meals out, no new cars, and the horror and humiliation of calling on family for help when the car breaks down...

...and it is also a sense of contentment and pride knowing that, when it seemed that our flailing, struggling, violent, suicide-attempting little boy was doomed, we, his parents, were able to give him what he needed and help him back to relative stability. That may not always be true, and for so many families it has not worked that way, so we know that we are blessed, in spite of our financial suck-fest.

Pediatric mental illness is the hateful stares and nasty comments from strangers and those who do not (or will not) understand...

...and it is the vast, generous community of people near and far who surround us with love and understanding.

Pediatric mental illness is drama and crisis and terror...

...and it is also this little boy, my boy, whose heart is so broad, whose empathy is so deep, whose emotional generosity is so vast he takes my breath away. He is afraid of so many things, but he is not afraid of people in pain. He is no afraid to feel your pain with you.

Pediatric mental illness is the crumbling of our family around us, the absence of two of my children, the deep pain and woundedness in us all...

...and it is also a new understanding of what it means to be family, to invite without forcing, to choose to stay, not from obligation, but from love.

Pediatric mental illness is the utter destruction of faith, smashed around our feet and ground to dust...

...and it is the rebuilding of a new faith, faith that breathes humility into us in incomprehensible, overwhelming ways, faith that makes no false promises, faith that makes it possible for us to live with the fear.

Pediatric mental illness is the thing I would cure in an instant, no questions, no looking back...

...and still, there are gifts.

 

Adrienne Jones writes the blog No Points for Style.

17 comments:

  1. So powerful, and I was deeply touched by "he is not afraid of people in pain." What a wonderful quality to have. So few do.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh, Adrienne, you just slay me, as always. So good to hear your words, your voice. Always.

    ReplyDelete
  3. So beautifully powerful...."the deep pain and woundedness in us all"

    ReplyDelete
  4. Yes to this especially:
    'Pediatric mental illness is the thing I would cure in an instant, no questions, no looking back...and still, there are gifts.'

    ReplyDelete
  5. wow, this is a beautiful read. a painfully, beautiful read. your voice is so powerful.

    ReplyDelete
  6. When time goes by without a posting from you at No Points For Style, I pray extra hard for you and your family. When I read your essays, I weep. Thank you for giving a voice to the mute and a window into the souls of many who go unacknowledged.

    ReplyDelete
  7. When time goes by without a posting from you at No Points For Style, I pray extra hard for you and your family. When I read your essays, I weep. Thank you for giving a voice to the mute and a window into the souls of many who go unacknowledged.

    ReplyDelete
  8. When time goes by without a posting from you at No Points For Style, I pray extra hard for you and your family. When I read your essays, I weep. Thank you for giving a voice to the mute and a window into the souls of many who go unacknowledged.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Love ya my friend...you and all around you which you have so warmly shared with Pickles and I. And for making us feel welcome in a place in a way we have never felt before.

    ReplyDelete
  10. So beautiful. So powerful. So real. Thank you for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
  11. thats wonderful, now i know alot of information bout this
    golbarg-neda.mihanblog

    ReplyDelete
  12. DR WILLIAMS CURED 7 YEARS AUTISM
    I am sharing this testimony for my daughter who suffered autism for 7 years. I am doing this, because I was her mother and caregiver  during her dark days and am very happy to share it so that others can be helped through  DR WILLIAMS HERBAL MEDICINE. It was a tough a battle for her; I was not actually the one who hard autism, but bearing the burden makes me understand what parents whose children and love with autism go through.
    Lesia now 19 and was diagnosed with autism at the age of twelve, for seven years, she fought against her diagnosis. I must admit it was never easy for us as a family; we had to constantly watch her, and answer questions that we couldn’t explain. On several occasions, she asked if she will ever stop having speech delay and get well like her school mates and be the best swimmer she dreamt of becoming. She was a very happy child; and had a ‘normal’ childhood and there was no suggestion that she would later on develop autism. 
    She refused to accept defeat and fought autism. She religiously kept to her medications in spite of their side effects. We all wanted a cure, so that she can chase her dream and live a normal life like every other child. But the more she takes these medications, the more her school grade drop. She couldn’t concentrate and we noticed that her memory was being severely adversely affected. Each time we went back to the hospital, her medicines were changed to a different one. Seems like, each change of drug brings about change in side effects. After about 6 years on   Abilify ,  Geodon  , and other medicines, it seemed the autism started to increase in frequency. I had to make effort to reduce her medicines with plans to eventually stop it all. We found an alternative treatment in homeopathy, which was better than her English drugs. Gradually, I reduced her drugs, and her autism were no longer as frequent as it was as when she was on conventional drugs.
    With our little breakthrough with homeopathy treatment, we made further search for natural cure. Fortunately we saw testimonies about herbal medicines which cure autism. We saw a lot of claims though, contacted them and didn’t get a useful reply. Lucky for us, we finally got a reply from Doctor Williams, he directed us to his blog where we saw a lot of information about his herbal medicine . Without further delay I made a purchase for her, I switched her over to it. We had great breakthrough, that in 3 weeks, her autism reduced. After 1 months as Doctor Williams promised , all autism symptoms stopped. It was like a miracle for us. since all this days now Lesia became autism free. Her story is quite lengthy, I hope it also help someone out there.for more information you can email Dr Williams on drwilliams098675@gmail.com  

    ReplyDelete