Thursday, January 29, 2009

another first

My name is J. and I am a parent.

 

I am a Mother to 2 beautiful boys, they were not nurtured by my body, nor did I know them for the first years of there lives but I am no less their mother then the woman who conceived them.

 

I did not breastfeed them as infants or change their diapers. I did not see their first steps or hear their first words. But I know the things that make them giggle and cry now. I dry their tears, chase away monsters, protect them from the bullies at school, yell at them when they drive me crazy and tickle them as we walk through the grocery store. I buy them treats when I am out because I know that they will love that toy or book but I will never really know what they were like as little boys.

 

Sometimes I feel as though I missed out by not having the privilege of being their Mom sooner. If they had come here first, instead of being with the four other Moms they had between leaving their birth family and coming to their forever family. Sometimes I cry because it makes me so sad to know that these 2 little men had to go through so much to make it here and wouldn’t it of been easier if it hadn’t happened that way.

 

However, 3 years ago when these boys had to leave their birth family I was not ready to be their Mom, sometimes I wonder if I am ready now. Three years ago I was falling in love and getting married, making plans and dreaming about helping kids who needed families to love them.

 

I did not think it would happen quite like this, that we would adopt the first two who walked through our door, knowing that we would keep them even before we met them. I thought there would be many kids coming and going first, that there would be time for me to wrap my head around being a parent. To figure out what worked for me and my husband, time to discover how we would parent together. I thought there would be few practice runs with kids that needed a home for a few weeks or months while their birth families got back on their feet. You know, kind of like taking a niece or nephew for the weekend when you are pregnant to getting a taste of being a parent full time.

 

Life is not always what you planned though, things do not always work out the way that you wanted or expected them to. So here, I am six months later, a Mom to two precious boys who need a lot from me. Our days are busy, filled with exciting and frustrating moments. My kids have many needs that other kids do not, they have struggles and issues that other kids never have to face but they are mine. I will love, nurture and respect them through each and every struggle because that is what Mom’s do.

 

I am excited to be a part of this wonderful group of parents and I am looking very forward to contributing each month.

6 comments:

  1. I think that adoption is so hard when raising a special needs kid. You don't have the organic information that kids who stay in their biological families may have. What's causing the behaviors in adopted kids? Is it biological? Is it due to their environments? The answer is, often times, both. But personally, I've found this one tough.

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  2. You are a generous person indeed! I look forward to reading more of your posts!

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  3. I felt like I was reading MY story except for we only adopted one...he was our first foster care placement.
    He has sensory processing disorder and delayed speech and I am assuming ADHD as well.
    Nice to "meet" you - followed you here from Twitter.
    Feel free to email me or contact me if you wanna vent!!!
    What you wrote was wonderful! Your boys are blessed to have finally found their forever mommy!

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  4. Can't wait to learn more about your boys and you. As parents, we always wish for more time. You'll hear us say, "They grow up too fast," "Why can't they stay little?" I see your wish to have known them younger is on par with that, IMO.

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