tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2959253662881047710.post6326152483631718251..comments2024-03-28T07:22:08.496-05:00Comments on Hopeful Parents: Mother WarsHopeful Parentshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10998569368345552372noreply@blogger.comBlogger26125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2959253662881047710.post-90209823969971907272011-01-25T19:17:16.000-06:002011-01-25T19:17:16.000-06:00I actually think that the whole "Chinese Moth...I actually think that the whole "Chinese Mother" debate has been a good one to have. It's fascinating to me that she has a SN sister...clearly Amy Chua would be the first to admit that her methods would have to be modified for SN kids. I'm one of the few people I know that was actually kind of inspired by the debate. While I obviously would never berate or name-call, I chose to take from it the lesson to "assume strength, not fragility". I think this is important to remember with our kids. I sometimes let myself think that because of my daughter's disability that certain things are out of her grasp. While I'll never be able to make her practice anything for 3 hours, I can apply that lesson in other ways...as it sounds like her mother did for her SN sister.<br><br>Lynnhttp://www.autismarmymom.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2959253662881047710.post-58674703981717279962011-01-21T01:21:45.000-06:002011-01-21T01:21:45.000-06:00Thanks for clarifying what it means to be a Specia...Thanks for clarifying what it means to be a Special Needs Mother and how it relates to the "Chinese Tiger Mother" in the WSJ. Bottomline, it's about loving your children.<br>Note: for those who have only read the WSJ, pls look into Amy Chua's follow up Q&A http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703583404576080032661117462.html?mod=WSJ_article_related <br>Specifically, she says:<br>My youngest sister, Cindy, has Down syndrome, and I remember my mother spending hours and hours with her, teaching her to tie her shoelaces on her own, drilling multiplication tables with Cindy, practicing piano every day with her. No one expected Cindy to get a Ph.D.! But my mom wanted her to be the best she could be, within her limits. Today, my sister works at Wal-Mart, has a boyfriend and still plays piano—one of her favorite things is performing for her friends. She and my mom have a wonderful relationship, and we all love her for who she is.<br><br>Remynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2959253662881047710.post-31269979126850756522011-01-20T09:57:33.000-06:002011-01-20T09:57:33.000-06:00Love this post.Love this post.<br><br>Kristinahttp://howlifehappens.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2959253662881047710.post-43057552654228722852011-01-20T07:40:53.000-06:002011-01-20T07:40:53.000-06:00you are AMAZINg you wrote what I felt in my heartyou are AMAZINg <br>you wrote what I felt in my heart<br><br>k-Floortime Lite mamahttp://drycappucino.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2959253662881047710.post-71933748968247051622011-01-20T05:44:48.000-06:002011-01-20T05:44:48.000-06:00Thank you so much for your incredibly supportive c...Thank you so much for your incredibly supportive comments! It is incredible to be on this journey with you all.<br><br>Spectrummy Mummyhttp://spectrummymummy.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2959253662881047710.post-10048756652940514162011-01-20T03:53:57.000-06:002011-01-20T03:53:57.000-06:00I appreciate the way you wrote this as so much has...I appreciate the way you wrote this as so much has been written on other sites about the way Chinese raise their children. I am married to a Chinese American whose mother is 2nd generation and while she did push her children to get good grades, she never did the types of things Amy Chua admits to doing. I would hope anyone reading her story would know that this is just one woman's story and is not typical of all Chinese American families.<br>My daughter has Asperger's and they did push her somewhat when she was younger before we had a diagnosis, but I know they love her and their heart is in the right place.<br><br>Suehttp://authordswalker.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2959253662881047710.post-15644208644262286542011-01-19T20:50:44.000-06:002011-01-19T20:50:44.000-06:00Loved this!Loved this!<br><br>Annhttp://www.jack-schrooten.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2959253662881047710.post-7442858353396363612011-01-19T20:06:24.000-06:002011-01-19T20:06:24.000-06:00THANK YOU!! I read that article and something jus...THANK YOU!! I read that article and something just didn't sit right with me--I'm a special needs sister and my brother is autstic. FORCING him to do something like practice piano for hours at a time or to read and write before he's ready or even to toilet train (he was five) would have just hurt him. He's anxious and has no self esteem, so being told he was inadequite/garbage/failure would ruin his life! I'm SO glad you posted this! Sums up my feelings entirely. :) <br>THANK YOU!<br><br>Mianoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2959253662881047710.post-30103352378489453202011-01-19T18:46:03.000-06:002011-01-19T18:46:03.000-06:00Your strong and vibrant point of view is uplifting...Your strong and vibrant point of view is uplifting. Many thanils!<br><br>Stephanienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2959253662881047710.post-84447815121189547822011-01-19T17:32:13.000-06:002011-01-19T17:32:13.000-06:00I loved this. Very nicely done and is exactly righ...I loved this. Very nicely done and is exactly right.<br><br>Jenhttp://differentbutdetermined.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2959253662881047710.post-41273767989688449292011-01-19T16:09:17.000-06:002011-01-19T16:09:17.000-06:00Great piece, thank you! Like listening to myself t...Great piece, thank you! Like listening to myself think and so thankful you posted this link on the WSJ page (too) where that article is about Chinese Mothers. No one ever says it aloud, but we all know what mothers of superior (normal" kids think of our kids....and they coulldn't be more mistaken.<br><br>Macknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2959253662881047710.post-65333982834726362002011-01-19T13:13:42.000-06:002011-01-19T13:13:42.000-06:00Exactly! Exactly! Exactly! Thank you for this mov...Exactly! Exactly! Exactly! Thank you for this moving post and the reminder that though we may be totally different parents than we ever dreamed of being that we are doing what's right for our kids. And AMEN to finding strength from each other, not from tearing other moms down!<br><br>Pattyhttp://www.pancakesgoneawry.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2959253662881047710.post-7880858176737500812011-01-19T12:32:28.000-06:002011-01-19T12:32:28.000-06:00Okay so I (finally) read the N Y T article. The 1s...Okay so I (finally) read the N Y T article. The 1st sentence: "A lot of people wonder how Chinese parents raise such <b><i>stereotypically</i></b> successful kids." Emphasis mine.<br>And so she defines it. Were I to believe in "one best" descriptive of parenting this well-written confession/purge/bound-to-pay-well-book might bother me.<br>Were I to believe it possible to guide others into the one best parenting mode, I might be tempted by this book - with emphasis shifted to "successful". The outcome is subjective. The population is varied, diverse, heterogeneous. But many like to talk about these things, and so they have. <br>Each to his own. Natural consequences. Meh. <br>As Kristina Chew tweeted after she read the book: "It's a bit sad, the book; sets up a (faulty/false) dichotomy of Western vs Chinese."<br><br>Barbara Boucher PhDhttp://www.therextras.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2959253662881047710.post-65222225070070112322011-01-19T12:20:26.000-06:002011-01-19T12:20:26.000-06:00The whole Chinese Mother article and the fallout h...The whole Chinese Mother article and the fallout has bemused me too. Designed to incite, and everyone just took the bait. <br>Whatever.<br>Love this post though!<br><br>Michelle O'Neilhttp://www.fullsoulahead.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2959253662881047710.post-74968060160918521832011-01-19T11:28:09.000-06:002011-01-19T11:28:09.000-06:00Thank you for this. You have written what I often ...Thank you for this. You have written what I often am thinking so very well. Excellent!<br><br>KrisVhttp://kdv-enture2011.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2959253662881047710.post-78706865256161912872011-01-19T10:49:55.000-06:002011-01-19T10:49:55.000-06:00Good post! I read the article a few days ago via...Good post! I read the article a few days ago via a Families with Children from China post, and was somewhat surprised. When we were in China to adopt our children we found Chinese women to be very permissive (ie, give him some candy so he will stop crying) and hovering, but I would not say strict. I do think that the Chinese are a hard-working culture because they always HAVE been. Life is hard and not all that forgiving. Perhaps the parenting styles are a reflection of that. <br>I am a mom to a kiddo with lots of special needs, and DO find myself parenting with much more determination than I would have anticipated. I'm sure that many would say that I am tough on my child, but that is because I so want him to reach his potential. Some kids (like mine) just need a lot of extra encouragement (and prodding), lest they stagnate or regress. It is not easy, but sometimes there is no alternative.<br><br>Chris P-Mhttp://www.acrazykindoffaith.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2959253662881047710.post-67358349166698375132011-01-19T10:06:35.000-06:002011-01-19T10:06:35.000-06:00Lovely, Thank you.Lovely, Thank you.<br><br>Varda Steinhardtnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2959253662881047710.post-10115695557803431382011-01-19T09:52:59.000-06:002011-01-19T09:52:59.000-06:00Love this post. I happen to be a Western (Australi...Love this post. I happen to be a Western (Australian) "special needs" mum married to a Chinese guy and living in Hong Kong so that article has been on my mind a lot lately. My mother in law thinks that Amy Chua is the perfect mother, I think :) (or maybe she just liked the title of the article)<br>I think that just about every parent is doing the best that they can with what they know how to do... Sure we might do it differently, but most parents love their kids with all their hearts and would do ANYTHING for them.<br><br>Nicolehttp://madeline-hope.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2959253662881047710.post-3919821866468182702011-01-19T09:42:12.000-06:002011-01-19T09:42:12.000-06:00Beautifully written. If we as mothers can't re...Beautifully written. If we as mothers can't respect other mothers and their different ways, how can we expect to raise children who will respect other children and their different ways?<br><br>Kate Rosenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2959253662881047710.post-39337373889943650932011-01-19T08:56:54.000-06:002011-01-19T08:56:54.000-06:00LOVELY!LOVELY!<br><br>Darcyhttp://asdmommy.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2959253662881047710.post-6478729463680683612011-01-19T08:14:09.000-06:002011-01-19T08:14:09.000-06:00So beautifully and eloquently said! Thanks for the...So beautifully and eloquently said! Thanks for the reminder on a day when I want to give up.<br><br>Niksmomhttp://maternalinstincts.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2959253662881047710.post-54452932063658818872011-01-19T07:53:49.000-06:002011-01-19T07:53:49.000-06:00Says it all xxSays it all xx<br><br>Blue Skyhttp://looking4bluesky.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2959253662881047710.post-2329529772561680242011-01-19T07:33:09.000-06:002011-01-19T07:33:09.000-06:00This is lovely and so true. Thank you for sharing ...This is lovely and so true. Thank you for sharing this!<br><br>Rose-Mariehttp://www.adaptingcreatively.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2959253662881047710.post-24063623401025127252011-01-19T07:23:31.000-06:002011-01-19T07:23:31.000-06:00Incredibly moving and so true. Thank you for shari...Incredibly moving and so true. Thank you for sharing.<br><br>Gina Gallaghernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2959253662881047710.post-54886017589525121582011-01-19T07:01:13.000-06:002011-01-19T07:01:13.000-06:00a perfect post and response to the recent controve...a perfect post and response to the recent controversy around here. I still don't understand why as mothers we constantly feel the need to make ourselves feel better at the expense of others.<br><br>Alysiahttp://trydefyinggravity.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.com