Hiding in plain sight
Jen M | Monday, September 28, 2009 at 2:09PM It's so difficult to explain to people about just why our lives are so crazy, why I am unable to keep up. People "not-in-the-know" range from extended family members (especially on my husband's side, as we don't fill them in to the extent that we do my side; my side has BDTD with my brother), to friends, to people who have very definite ideas on how children should be raised (these people generally don't have children, BlessTheirHearts...). They see a "normal" family, with incredibly stressed parents. People "in-the-know" are those who know what hell twice-exceptionalities can rain down on a home sometimes. They know the secret.
Our kids hide in plain sight.
A looks healthy...but has some sort of WTF digestive issue going on, and has since birth. All his recent tests came back perfectly normal, but even the doctor thinks there's something going on. Thank GOD! I was starting to think I was going insane.
A has 20/20 vision...but needs reading glasses and vision therapy. His eyes aren't tracking together as well as they should, and are working too hard to focus. They get tired and start bouncing around, making it difficult to read and concentrate, and bringing on headaches and occasionally, a puke-fest.
A has 100% perfect hearing in a typical testing situation...but was diagnosed with Central Auditory Processing Disorder last week. And, as a mom, may I just say...ahem...I KNEW IT!!!!! This is something I've suspected for at least the last four years. The official report from the doctor said...crap, it's here somewhere on this pit of a desk (been a BAD few weeks)...ah! significant central auditory processing difficulties. His ears hear just fine, his brain just can't translate all the input particularly well. I've often felt like I'm talking to him through static; his test results indicate he's only hearing 50% of words when there's background noise. He gets an ear filter next week to help block out some of that interference. PleaseGodPleaseOhPleaseLetThisWork!!!
A does not qualify for the Gifted and Talented program at school...but we have testing results from this summer showing just how bright he is, and exactly which learning difficulties are holding him back. Even with these results, I'm jumping through hoops for the school district (in our favor is the GT coordinator, who adores A and knows he belongs in the program). In the meantime, this bright, funny, insanely curious child is bored in school and is starting to hate it. He doesn't even realize that he's bored or why, just knows that he hates it. I would too, if I was reviewing things I had done in previous years, and if my favorite subject was only going to be taught every other month (true story: 3rd grade this year is alternating science and social studies. Sooo not happy.).
Hiding in plain sight. This thought hit me the other day and rang true. Twice-exceptional kids are like a partly-sunny day. You know the glory of the sun is out there, but these big puffy clouds keep blocking their brilliance. Every so often the sun peaks out and your lift your face and just revel in the warmth. Then a cloud rolls by, and you shiver in the chill, knowing the sun is still there but you don't know what to do to bring it back. You know that brilliance can and will change the world, if you could just get the clouds smaller or fewer.
Hiding in plain sight. Where my son lives every day, and why others just don't "get it."
Reader Comments (6)
Thank God he has a mother who sees his light.
It is nice to meet you. I'm going to find your blog or other writing now. I have a twice exceptional son. We call it "flying under the radar" in our home. Looks normal to everyone but people who understand Asperger's Syndrome. Finally got the school working with us on the learning disabilities. Need to get them to work with us on challenging material.
Michelle, bless you for saying that. Sometimes it's so hard to recognize the sun for the clouds.
CorrinHowe, I think you found me. ;) I'm working with the school on all aspects, but I suspect they think I'm making it up sometimes. One hides the other, and the other hides the one. ;)
I often feel little bursts of "wow, I know just what you mean" on this site. But this - the partly sunny, partly cloudy analogy just fits my daughter perfectly. They *said* she was autistic, now they *say* maybe she's not. They *say* maybe Asperger's, but maybe not. Her kindergarten teacher and sped teacher tell me she's normal. Then she comes home, before she has made it through the first four weeks of school and tells me she's bored. Bored doing "A, apple, aaah" cards. Of course. Because she reads at a second grade level. But she can't help but grab Logos from the other kids when she wants them. She is hiding in plain sight.
Cricket, has your daughter been evaluated for giftedness? The range of giftedness is so wide that she could be there, could be 2e. From what I understand, gifted kids have sensitivities and overexcitabilities that mimic other issues. I know that's certainly been the case here, but not nearly at the level of some other families. That she was Aspy, but now isn't, is bored, her teachers see her as normal...you might want to consider a 2e evaluation. Giftedness hides the disability, and the disability can pull down the giftedness. Please note I'm not an expert by any stretch, but a parent earning an "on-the-job" degree in twice-exceptionalities courtesy of our son. LOL
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