she knows
jess wilson | Wednesday, June 17, 2009 at 12:24PM
A young couple sits in a trendy Manhattan eatery. Armani-clad waiters buzz about, working hard to look nonchalant.
Huddled over their small table, the couple focuses only on one another. That's what they do. It is early yet.
She is driven - proud of her recent promotion to senior vice president just shy of thirty. A hard-won victory.
She speaks with conviction. She feels sure that she is conquering her world. She talks of desk politics, power and money.
He speaks in the language of philosophy. He weaves a tapestry of hopes and dreams and ideals.
They know they will have children, but the idea lives in the vapor of the future.
She watches his eyes dance.
"I've figured it out," he says, nearly breathless.
His entire body is alight with possibility. Close to ten years later, she'll remember this energy. She'll remember how he was nearly vibrating in his seat.
"I really think I've got it," he continues. He looks as though he might get up and sprint away from the table.
She listens intently.
"OK, you know how you say that you would never want to give up your career?"
She hasn't yet learned the dangers of words like 'never'.
She nods.
"But that you'd never want anyone else raising your kids?"
She sips her wine. Nods again.
"Well, love, you're an incredibly bright woman; you know that. But I'm not sure you've really thought this through, babe."
She doesn't like being forced to acknowledge her own folly. She scrunches her nose in response.
She has no idea that her first daughter will inherit this habit - that it will become more hers than her mother's.
"I never wanted to point out the contradiction because I didn't have a solution. But I think I do now."
She drops the fork that she has been using to idly push the food around her plate. She waits.
He looks at her for a long moment. A look she will never forget.
"I know what I want to be when I grow up," he says, only half in jest.
She will realize later that she has been holding her breath.
"I want to be a Dad."
The waiter passes by. He apparently thinks the better of interrupting them.
She doesn't respond. She's not entirely sure what he means.
"I was meant to be a Dad. It just makes sense."
He goes on to explain his plan.
He will be a stay-at-home dad while she continues her climb up the corporate ladder. Her mutually exclusive plans are miraculously no longer so.
They don't know that theirs will be a different kind of parenting than any they could have imagined. They have no idea that they will skip the prerequisites and jump straight into the Advanced Placement Class.
The waiter clears their plates and leaves dessert menus. They don't open them. Instead, they order two more glasses of wine. They sit for a while. They are in no hurry. There's no place they have to be.
She watches him.
He doesn't know that he will be the best father that any child could ever hope to have.
She knows.
She knows it down to her very soul.
She will be wrong about many, many things - more than she could ever count. But not this.
She will be proven perfectly, completely, deliciously right.
Ten years and two incredible little girls later, she is more right than ever.
September, 2008
In love and gratitude to the only man on earth who could give my own dad a run for his money.
Happy Almost Father's Day, My Love
Jess can be found at www.jesswilson.wordpress.com
Reader Comments (27)
Thanks babe! I think that I've inherited the leaky eyes by osmosis...
Love you!!!
This is SO sweet!
Jess - a beautiful post, as always. I love you style, lady!
Beautiful. And that picture? AWESOME! But, um, well I'd argue that Niksdad is the best dad ever. Well, okay, for Nik anyway. He wouldn't have a CLUE what to do with two girls! LOL
Happy almost Father's Day, Matt. I think the leaky eyes are highly contagious.
Beautiful writing. Amazing wife and mother and person. Lucky people to have you in their world.
This is your best one yet. I love this.
The man knows what he wants.
aw. i love that guy! you are all so incredibly blessed! that photo is stunning!!!
Well unlike you I wear mascara but today I shouldn't have. That was beautiful Jess. Matt I don't know you but you sound like a great dad and husband.
Jess - I love the scene you portrayed here - fantastic piece of writing!
Matt - you're incredible! Love that photo! All my best wishes for the happiest of Father's Days.
SUPER-DAD!
Love the post. Love the photo.
Way to go, Matt! Way to go, Jess!
Jess -
Have you any idea how gifted you are?
Your writing?
Your ladder climbing?
Your taste in MEN?
This is so beautiful on so many levels.
& Matt - you never cease to amaze.
love.
oh. that is really quite beautiful. much love to both of you and a very happy father's day!
What a beautiful moment and what a beautiful outcome. Hope Matt has a great Father's Day!
Again, your poetic quality with your great and so true content...
Of course she knows!
Absolutely beautiful little slice of your life!!
That is absolutely beautiful!
thanks, everyone! i am incredibly, ridiculously blessed. xo
Riveting and sweet - a very tricky combination. Well done!
What a man, what a man, what a mighty good man!
Perfect photo - Matt lifting his girls up. He does that for all of 3 you, and you shine.
the complete joy on those three faces says it all. and i'm guessing that behind the camera, there's a big, bright smile to match theirs. i'm smiling, just looking at it. and i never smile! this is some sort of weird, viral infection I think. the wilson's have generated a happy bug that's going around, impacting everyone that sees the photo.
on highways where there tends to be a lot of traffic, they should post that photo on a billboard, it could have a sedative effect on drivers. "I'm sick of this traffic!!! I hate...wait. Look at that cute family. Awww." And then it's a highway of love.
I met this amazing man a few months ago. I even poked him with my index finger -- several times -- to ensure that he wasn't a hallucination. I truly didn't believe men like him existed, and knowing him has given me hope that there might be more like him out there. *Sigh*
Dearest Jessica,
Matt is the luckiest man in the world because he has you and his two wonderful babies. I have watched him father and I don't mind coming in second to him for he has "my baby" as his wife and "my grand babies" as his daughters, and he is a very special husband and father. I like to think that I helped you to know what a loving man and father is so you could find the best of the best. In Matt you have done just that. How fortunate he is to have a wife as loving and supportive as you to share the babies and life with.
I sit back and watch and enjoy all of your sucesses with a heart that aches with love for you and yours.
Happy, happy Fathers Day to my son Matt, for he is mine too!
Dad
COL over here!
love.
Ginger
Jess,
This is breathtaking. Exquisite writing. Art.
Matt, you are beautiful.
Happy Father's Day.
MO'N
Oh good grief, I'm crying now. Such a great post!