I've been thinking lately that maybe I don't belong here. Things have been so good for so long with Taz that I'm hardly able to remember when they were difficult. I don't know if he is growing out of his issues, or if not eating eggs and dairy for so long has had a profound effect on his nervous system, but he just seems so normal lately.

Today I brought him with me to a meeting I had to go to because his dad had other plans. I expected we would not be able to stay without disrupting the meeting, but I figured I'd give it a shot. To my extreme surprise, he sat quietly beside me doing mazes and connecting the dots in a workbook. He even whispered when he needed to ask me questions (this is a kid who has not known the meaning of the word quiet before now). He sat in one place without causing a big scene for probably 45 minutes (!) while the adults had a discussion. It was absolutely astounding. I felt like I had lost my child somewhere and ended up with a stray - a stray with amazing self-control.

Yesterday I watched a movie called Mozart and the Whale. Have you seen it? It's not really a very good movie, but it does provide a sort of tutorial on Asperger's. It reaffirmed my belief that I am probably an Aspie, and so is Taz. But since I don't plan to put Taz in a traditional school environment I just can't see how Asperger's is a disability, exactly. Maybe that's because I don't necessarily recognize when Taz's (or my own) behavior is causing difficulty in social situations.

But maybe we can just play that by ear. Maybe it's okay for now that we don't really know how to make friends. Maybe, like the main characters in Mozart and the Whale, we can just be our quirky selves together and not worry too much about the rest of the world. Maybe that's okay. Maybe we're okay.