Just when I think it’s all been said, I see another article in the news, on Salon, a new series exploring the cure or accept debate.

Is this really an issue? I’m going out on a limb to say, no. I don’t think it is. Or at least, not as much as one would think by the press.

I used to think it was. There’s a war being waged! Those that march on one side of the bridge waving flags to CURE AUTISM NOW! and the opposing brigade advancing with banners of ACCEPTANCE AND ADAPTATIONS! When they meet in the center, they lift Jenny McCarthy en masse and toss her into the water below, plunk!  And then race around willy-nilly injecting every available bicep with excess MMR and DPT—zap zap zap!

Because I think by now, most of us know that vaccines don’t CAUSE autism even though some of us still think that doesn’t mean overloading the body with attenuated virus swimming in preservatives is a SALVE to the immune system. After all, we are not automa-humans. We are unique and beautiful expressions of DNA never before seen and never to be seen again. Who’s to say what factors agitate the complicated dance of neurology, immunology and gastroenterology?

But I digress…

Don’t we all agree that acceptance is the first order of business? Accept the child! Which in my mind also means, embrace the child, champion the child, advocate for the child. In order to do this effectively one must spend time with the child to see them, know them, understand them. 

There are disturbed people out there. They don’t know how to accept the child. There is no way to stop the disturbed people from birthing the children so some of them have  the kids and some of those kids have the autism so some ASD kids in the world have the disturbed parents. I’m talking, the gamut of disturbed–the parents who, say disown the son when they learn he’s gay to the psychos that chained their  daughters to the radiator in the basement and every shade in-between.

There are some parents of ASD kids out there who can’t take the ASD. They want it OUT and OFF. They don’t strive to see from another point of view. They don’t want to do any extra work. They don’t want a spiritual wake up call. They want the kid to make things easy for them. This is one version of the disturbed parent. There are the most disturbed parents who even kill the child. This is about disturbance. This is my point. This is not about autism. 

I think the press doesn’t know what to do about the topic, how to report it. It’s harder to say, Autism is complicated. There is no One Expression. And: Most parents are enthusiastically embracing their kids and learning a tremendous amount from adult and teen autistic advocates. It’s not as sexy. The truth is, most of us go all shark eyes when we hear the talk of  “heated debates”.  Come on, we say, Really. We’re busy. Too busy to waste our time and energy on that old song.

I may go so far as to call us the elite! Like the military! Remember the TV ad? The jingle that sang out,

The Army!

Navy !

Air Force !

Marines!

The one that promised you’d do more before 5 am than most people would do in a day? We’re like that, we parents.

Autism!

Aspergers!

High functioning!

And Low!

And I say this not to paint us as martyrs or superheros, not to put us in a different category. I say it to keep us in the same category as the rest of the NON-disturbed parents out there, loving their kids absolutely and doing their best to understand, accept, provide, advocate, and guide. 

That’s us, too. It's just that providing for our kids is a bit more complicated. We need to wade through some outdated ideas, notions, prejudices, short-sightedness, stereotypes, not to mention medical forms, IEP meeting rooms, and a whole assortment of co-occurring conditions that can be mysterious, painful and frightening.

I have a friend who once said to me about one of my societal laments, What are you gonna do, Kyra? Put on a pair of slippers or try to carpet the whole world?

This parenting our ASD kids, this providing for their highest potential, includes a pair or two of slippers for sure. But it also includes adaptations, exceptions and understanding, a few carpets squares, hell, maybe even a whole Costco-size roll laid down.

So, press? Wake up and spread the word, the word we bloggers have been spreading for some time now. For the most part, we parents and the Autism activists are not on opposite sides of the river. We are the bridge, looking to connect the shores through the sharing of information, experience, and insight.

Come on out and give us a hand.