When our first child, Mr. Literal, was born in 2001, my husband's parents gave him $1,000 to start a college fund.  We excitedly went to a financial planner and set up the recommended 529 college savings account, and started making monthly contributions to it.  When the Energizer Bunny (son #2) was born in 2004, we once again got a gift of $ to start the account with, and we did so........but by then, we were also neck-deep in a new autism-spectrum diagnosis for Mr. L. 

Our house and our lives were overrun with therapists and specialists of all kinds.....early interventionists, speech pathologists, OT, PT, developmental pediatricians, and more.  We were entering what I have come to think of as my "dark period", and most of my memories of that time are a blur.  One speech therapist in particular became our lifeline, the one person who really "got" Mr. L and seemed to see the big picture, even when we ourselves could not.  He's a no-nonsense person, tells it like it is, and my talks with him pretty often ended with me in tears.  It even became a bit of a joke between us......."hey, you made it through the session without crying today!"

So finally, one day, after a session ended but we were still sitting on my living room floor chatting, I asked him a question that had been gnawing at me for a while.  When we had set up Energizer's college fund, and kept on pouring money into Mr. L's as well even as we came face to face with the A word, I had started wondering something that I hated myself for even thinking:  "Do we even need to be doing this for Mr. L?  Could the money be better spent on something that's more......(gulp).....realistic for his future?" 

Before we had kids, the fact that they'd go to college one day was just a no-brainer.  Hubby and I both went to the school of our dreams, and got a great education there.  Hubby went on to grad school as well, and now has his Master's degree + 30 hours, so we're all about the idea of higher education, etc. 

So I agonized silently over this question, for a LONG time.  Hated to think it, but couldn't help it, and really wanted to just ask someone who might have even a halfway decent answer.  Was I dumb to ask this?  Dumb because I was shortchanging Mr. L in my expectations, or maybe just dumb because there was no way in hell he'd ever make it to college and how could I not see that. 

As we sat there on the living room rug, and Mr. L toddled around us, mostly oblivious to what we were doing or saying, I finally asked.  I spoke hesitantly, probably didn't make a lot of sense and at first he had a hard time understanding what I was asking.  But finally he did, and his answer is something I've never forgotten.  After the standard disclaimer about how no one can really see the future or know for sure what an outcome will be, he said "What do I think about this?  I think that the question is not whether you should be saving for college, but whether you've started saving for MIT!" 

And at the time, although his words were wonderful and a welcome relief from what I was afraid he'd say, I admit that I doubted him.  He, in his expertise working with ASD kids and seeing their development and potential, recognized Mr. L's intelligence and foresaw great things for him.  I wanted to believe, wanted it desperately, but it was hard to fully accept (and still is, sometimes).  But as years have passed, and Mr. L has reached heights far beyond what most would have ever believed, I remember the words of that therapist.  When I watch my not-so-little boy play baseball on the "real" team, or sing in the school chorus, I remember.  When he read his essay about heroes in front of the whole school on Veterans' Day, or donned a cape and crown to play King Wenceslas in last year's Christmas pageant, I remember.......and I think I'm ready to believe. 

We're still saving, by the way.  Our account has taken a hit from the economy, just like everyone's has, so we're gonna count on MIT to come through with some scholarships for him, and we'll work hard to cover the rest.  I believe in you, my miracle boy, and I'm sorry that I ever doubted.  Don't ever let anyone put limits on you or tell you that you can't do something!  You can do anything, go anywhere, be anything that you want, and I can't wait to see what else the future holds for you!