How do I teach him the unteachable?
Rebekah Sprecher | Sunday, November 15, 2009 at 10:55PM 
Ricky on the zip line at mother-son camp
This weekend, my sons and I went to mother-son camp. We did this in March and it was a lot of fun, and the boys wanted to do it again... So we did. Last time, Ricky was still having his major dizzy spells and actually spent much of the time sleeping them off. Now that his medication is making things better for him, we knew this would be a much better weekend. He had gotten out of the hospital less than a week before, and I figured we all deserved a fun time!
Ricky has cystic fibrosis, and that is enough of a challenge at camp, with having to delay going to activities so he could have his breathing treatments and take his medications. We did have the opportunity to educate other kids about what Ricky's meds do. I think I may have overwhelmed them!
But what was the big issue this weekend? Not his cystic fibrosis. No, this weekend we were dealing with Ricky's autism spectrum issues, mainly his social skills. All three of us had a lot of fun, but the social skills were a constant issue.
Ricky is a very enthusiastic and talkative boy. When he is very interested in something, he likes to tell people about it. At camp, he told complete strangers about these things (a musical instrument he made, a block tower he built, the food he picked for lunch). He sat very close to people he didn't know and spoke with them intently. I found myself constantly reminding Ricky that these people, while friendly, were strangers, and might not necessarily want to hear about these things. Even from across the room I could see on their faces that they were uncomfortable and unsure of what to say to him.
Most of us, first of all, don't go up to strangers to tell them about our latest interest, uninvited. And most of us are also able to see on people's faces when they are uninterested or uncomfortable. I know that Ricky doesn't see these things. He doesn't know.
But how do I teach him? Is it possible to teach my son things that come naturally to me? How do you teach a (almost) 14 year old how to read facial cues and curb his talkative nature when the time isn't right? It is unfathomable to me.
Ricky is supposed to be learning social skills at school. I'm supposed to be reinforcing them. But how do you teach someone the unteachable?
social skills 
Reader Comments (2)
My almost-17-year-old son still does this, and when a 6'1" guy with football regulation shoulders invades your space and starts telling you about his favorite movie, you listen.
But seriously, I don't know that my son will ever get this stuff, but in the end, what's the real harm? He's reaching out to others, something that he otherwise does not do, and sometimes people, after getting over the initial discomfort, find him fascinating. Other times, they tell him to buzz off, and he graciously moves on to the next <s>victim</s> prospect for interaction.
My son is son to be 15 and he does the same thing. I have been struggling to help him with this for a long time. The best I have been able to do is have a signal. If I touch his arm or hand he knows it's time to stop talking. The next time we are alone I try to go over with him why I stopped him. However, I am not entirely sure this will ever completely end but it has improved after years of discussion.