The White Notebook

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Jennie Linthorst is a therapeutic writing coach and the founder of LifeSPEAKS Poetry Therapy. She works privately with men and women helping them tell their stories and heal, through reading and writing poetry and personal essays. Jennie coaches clients all across the country and around the world via phone, Skype, e-mail, in addition to in person meetings. She is the author of a book of poems, Autism Disrupted: A Mother's Journey of Hope. Her family’s story is captured in the award-winning documentary film, “Autistic-Like: Graham’s Story”.

The White Notebook

The white notebook

travels through my son’s days

nestled in his green backpack

hiding secret observations,

his moment to moment victories,

suggestions of topics to be discussed,

and activities

I never hear about

at the family dinner.

Some days

his aide holds the key

to a dusty, dark box

of wounded memories¾

a fragile place inside me

I thought was locked away.

Her words, he seemed off today,

unable to focus,

crack the lid a little wider.

I try to breathe

as I read daily reports,

knowing that the peace I long for

in these moments

will never be found in the dark.